Spooks in Motion

I am so stoked about the latest Psychospiritual Development class - for a number of reasons.  I've been teaching this topic for a very long time (nearly 40 years).  For a good 30 years I've occasionally added resources to the teaching notes, but I've not had to update the material completely until the last few years. I just did a massive re-write for this class, adding terminology and descriptions of cutting- edge technology. The massive escalation within technology has really raised the bar.  Gone are the days we had a hand-held thermometer, flashlight, film-based camera and tape recorder.  (If you were lucky you had access to a Faraday cage.)  Now there are Mel meters, SB-11 "Spirit boxes", Frank's boxes, laser grids, ovulus boxes, motion sensing kinetic viewers, trifield meters, infra-red, and the list goes on...  We can use our computers to filter out the noises in EVP's and hear the words spoken.  ITC (instrumental transcommunication) was a huge deal in the 1970's and 80's with the work of Metascience and the "Spiricom" machine.  Current technology totally eclipses Spiricom. Technology helps eliminate fraud and reduces the guesswork of field analysis.   I'm so grateful to be around watching the emergence of this field I love so much...

And yet...  the more things change, the more things stay the same.  I was channeling for someone the other night, alone in the house.  I worked with the client over Skype and we had quite a session.  Just a few minutes after,  I heard the studio door open.  The bells on the door jangled loudly and the dogs went ballistic.  I called out to see if if was Brian returning - no answer, and the door slammed shut hard, very hard.  Was the person in the house or gone? I freaked, calling out that I had already dialed 911.  Not hearing footsteps, I called on guardian angels and headed into the studio.  As I entered I smelled cherry pipe tobacco.  The only person I knew who smoked this tobacco was my grandpa Pigeon.  I checked the door and indeed it was unlocked, to my dismay.  I scoured the studio, checked for thefts, and went into my storeroom (formerly the garage).  No flesh-and-blood person.  This bothered me all the next day.  I finally asked Brian to dowse: he determined it was a spirit, wandering in, attracted to the fact I was channeling.  My grandpa stopped the intrusion.  The issue?  I had not closed the circle after being with my client on Skype!

Wow, did I feel stupid.  No tech in the world replaces the protocols associated with the acts of mediumship.  1t could have been 1865 instead of 2015.  My experience would have easily been prevented if I'd practiced what I preach to students: when you open a circle, CLOSE it, so the spirits know your boundaries!  It's a big lesson I shared with the class last night.  Keeps me humble!

Anyway, I'm delighted to have family coming to visit us this week, for the first time.  Angeni is working all week as a camp counselor, and we're spring cleaning in anticipation of the visitors.  Growing up we did not interact much with cousins, even though we all lived in Guelph.  Now, in our golden years we're changing that paradigm.  Gotta love family. 

Have a wonderful spring break! Blessings.

So, another beautiful day, with just enough hints of spring to make me giddy.  I'm also still basking in the glow of a fabulous Psychospiritual Development class last night.  We covered a lot of territory, and the mood was great.  I'm looking forward to the next 9 weeks...  As the weather improves I'm considering taking the students who wish to develop it, for a day of dowsing.  One needs warm, dry weather for a dowsing class.  There are two forms of dowsing I teach: geomantic dowsing (earth-based) and radiesthetic dowsing (the body).

Anyway, I am happily designing a quilt featuring Kateri Tekakwitha.  The quilt is a commission by an old friend, for his daughter.  I want to depict Kateri in less of a traditional, religions manner.  I have visions of her with stylized wings, floating in a sunset skyscape.  I'm contemplating whether to include a lily.  She was known as the "Lily of the Mohawks".  I am drafting my pattern on bristol board, taped into a larger piece with packing tape.   It's a large picture - this is a queen-sized quilt.  I've struggled with her depiction for months, but the form that's evolving is both peaceful and powerful; it makes me happy and that's what counts.  The artistic process is so personal, containing so much of Self; it's difficult not to get strangled by emotional tethers.  My "life coaching" helped me work off those tethers.  I proceed with grace.

May your week be beautiful and playful.  Peace.

Spiritual Teaching Assistants

So, I go to bed early last night, and spend some time writing and editing some materials for a book.  It's a beautiful full moon, of "Weighs the Truth" and I'm aware of how bright the room is... In my Type-A left brain, I could move forward with another project because I'd completed all the prep for the upcoming class.  Or so I thought. I fall asleep, and at 02:30 I am awakened to a message that the information I need for the Psychospiritual Development class is not complete; I am missing the "Metascience" information, a book list and some score sheets for the old Duke University parapsychology tests.  Hmmm.  Agreed. 

I thank the guides and teachers for the information, but I didn't need to hear about it in the wee hours.  One of the things I spend significant amounts of time teaching students is about the ethics of channeling and personal boundaries.  In the training I received, it is never alright to spontaneously walk up to a person and say "I'm a medium and I have a message for you - do you want to hear it?"  Usually this is done in a public place when the recipient of the message is caught off guard.  My teachers advised, rightfully, that this is an unethical breach of their boundaries.   What I wouldn't do to another, I don't want to have happen to me - I don't want messages imposed upon me when I'm sound asleep and have not opened to receive.  It is a reminder to put up protection.  I try to teach students to "start out as you wish to continue" in the channeling relationship.

Brian and I rectified the missing documents, as per the helpful messages.  I was pleased that all the copies of student notes were already made - I just updated them with a few additional sheets of information.  We've got the white board and easel, the room is set up and new white board markers purchased.  I've retrieved all the books and tools we need.  I'm pumped, and ready to go.  The ancestors know they need to be patient until tomorrow.  It's all good...

Birthday fun

Tis the night before my birthday...  I came to bed at 6:30 and am wide awake at just about 11:15.  Hmmm...  It was a quiet, gentle day and I did some channeling this afternoon for a grieving friend.  She's in a better place and that feels fabulous... it always does...

We set up my studio for the Psychospiritual Development class scheduled to start next weekend.  It's been awhile since I taught channeling and I'm quite excited! This week I prep the notes and pull together all the materials for the students.  The connection with Spirit is fleeting if one doesn't work at it, like any good relationship worth having in life.  I know there are times I've let my relationship lag a bit, and then suddenly I'll notice that I feel adrift - even lost.  At other times I've been more in touch with people in spirit (and angels) than those in this dimension!  I need to keep a happy medium...  ha ha, a funny.  Happy medium.

Anyway I'm aware of something in the air - the earth - called the "quickening".  This was an old Spiritualist term for a vibrational boost we get when connecting to higher vibrating realms.  I also feel it when the energy starts to shift within the earth.  The trees are waking up. In the next couple of weeks the sap will be flowing and the snow banks dissipating into the ground.  The melt is supporting the water table.  I feel it, usually after Valentines, so it is a bit later starting this year.  Whenever it comes, I'll take it!  The winter is winding down and the beasts will be stirring towards nesting.  I love the birdsong and the early flowers.

I've wondered about this coming year - my 58th - and ask myself how to manifest "the new".  I know in my heart something is coming...  it has familiar elements, and yet is going to push my boundaries.  I welcome it and am grateful for the abundance in my life.  Bllessings and peace, friends.  I'll have some carrot cake and toast you all!

What a difference a day makes...!

I've been knitting a lot over the past couple of years...  a rough mental count says 31 prayer/healing shawls, in addition to myriad hats, socks, gloves and a couple dog sweaters.  Knitting is profoundly healing.  I've knit, crocheted and sewn since childhood, but I never realized how much I need to knit.  I taught myself with books and magazines initially, because my mother was a "lefty" so it was hard to follow her movements.  My grandmother taught me some basics, but that was infrequent.  I was by enlarge self-taught.  All the years of complex lacework and spinning my own yarns have given me a sense of spiritual intertwining with the work I produce...

Today I create my own patterns, using sacred geometry.  My love of nature, and especially birds, incubated a need to create shawls which are like bird wings  I love blending the colours, graphing the designs and the math...  the math is sublime!  I adore the harmony the math creates when interpreted by the stitches, yarns and colours.  It's trippy!  Lately I incorporate the resonance patterns of crystals with the sacred geometry.  Every stitch is from my hands... the shawls birthing from the needles are deceptively simple looking.  While I tag each piece and attempt to convey the meaning of each dodem bird, the proof is in the wearing, not the words.

Visitors to our studio are impressed by the knitting.  I'm glad; it is heart-warming when people pick up on the intention of my work.  By the same token, Brian's woodwork appears simple, yet the stages and effort taken to create the items is intensive. Art is a gift from the heart and soul.

Anyway, I've drafted out and started two similar but yet very different, shawls.  One is in the progression of a rainbow, or the basic chakras.  The other shawl incorporates some of the same yarns, yet is designed to reflect Parrot. The Parrot shawl is destined for a client in Mexico.  I love that my shawls are flying around the world...  the loving intention and healing they bring to me, as maker, is something I am glad to share.  Peace.

A long time coming…

So here we are in 2015. It's very obvious to anyone who's followed this blog that I haven't posted in a very long time - there is a reason for that… I've had a great deal of healing to do.  You'll notice from the history that in 2006 and 2007 my postings averaged about 3 every 2 weeks and then dropped dramatically after we started working for the government.  Finding the time and living through unending renovations made focusing on my blog [and Moonstar Lodge] the difficult thing.We worked for the ministry for 4 1/2 years and in that time developed programs, ran circles, fulfilled our Midewiwin obligations and raised a child. What we didn't expect to experience was the issue of lateral violence. We were outsiders in this community and as a result thought to be unworthy of the financial remuneration for the contract we successfully bid on.

Right now in 2015 there is an incredible emphasis on missing and murdered aboriginal women, missing and murdered aboriginal men and racism.  What isn't in the limelight is the issue of lateral violence.  In a nutshell lateral violence relates to aboriginal communities/individuals fighting with other aboriginal communities/individuals for money, gain, power or the limelight.  The dangling of some proverbial carrot is causing our own people to fight with each other in a way that we are not gaining anything and in fact supporting the agenda of "divide and conquer".

I came out of the aboriginal closet as a teenager and literally clawed my way through a morass of colonial genocide to be recognized and own who I really am...  I thought I had to be Métis because I lived off reserve and that is not so. Brian and I have made a concerted effort to ensure that our daughter [at 16] has not and does not know the same sorts of struggles. She owns, and knows exactly who she is and is out in the community as an aboriginal female. Gains have been made at governmental levels to some degree, but not where money is involved.  Anyway it's 2 1/2 years later and I've processed a whole lot of healing and grief. I've gone from being able to provide adequately for my family but now I am broke - but not broken.  The PTSD issues I had as a child flared for a while but I've got them under control. Part of my healing journey has been to recognize that the  4.5 years with the ministry were only part of the 34 years plus I've been doing what I do as Moonstar Lodge.  Lateral violence does not keep me down.  My studio is my sanctuary and I continue to perform and provide the services that my community requests.

For the 1st time in 7 years I am teaching Psychospiritual Development.  We've tried to offer classes in this community (they never ran) and yet this class is full! In the 7 years since we've been here our online presence, the World Wide Web has changed and we are changing with it!  I've got videos on YouTube as uncomfortable as that is, I'm still hearing from people who've watched my talks on a number of subjects… Midewiwin still happens… And life goes on.

I'm back. And this time I won't shut up :)

Interesting quote:

"Shamans are sometimes considered healers or doctors, but really they are people who deal with the tears and holes we create in the net of life, the damage that we all cause in our search for survival. In a sense, all of us — even the most untechnological, spiritual, and benign peoples — are constantly wrecking the world. The question is: how do we respond to that destruction? If we respond as we do in modern culture, by ignoring the spiritual debt that we create just by living, then that debt will come back to bite us, hard. But there are other ways to respond. One is to try to repay that debt by giving gifts of beauty and praise to the sacred, to the invisible world that gives us life. Shamans deal with the problems that arise when we forget the relationship that exists between us and the other world that feeds us, or when, for whatever reason, we don’t feed the other world in return." - Martín Prechtel

Artwork by Lunar New Year (www.flickr.com/photos/lnylnylny/)

It.has been awhile...

Well it's been a while since I've published anything on this blog but there is so much that has changed…We had a series of open houses for my "new" studio since my last post.  Unfortunately Angeni had the experience of losing the vision in her left eye due to a virus and I was diagnosed on the very same day with a small brain tumour (which is now calcified). Angeni has been seen at Sick Kids hospital a couple of times but they feel that she has permanently lost the vision in the left eye. We are still working with some cutting edge therapies that may in fact prove to be helpful. The doctors feel the virus may either have been from a tick bite or a cat scratch! All the more reason to make sure your family wears long pants and socks when walking through outdoor areas. Anyway that's an issue in process.

Brian and I have started doing some art shows and joined some local artists who are participating in a studio tour for Tiny Township. I am very excited to be opening up our studio to a broader community base.  My next show out is scheduled to be at Sainte Marie among the Hurons for National Aboriginal Day and the weekend which follows NAD. I've been a member of Huronia Foundation for the Arts now for all 5 years that we've lived here, but this is the 1st year I could be extensively involved in shows and gatherings.We hope to participate in the Festval du Loup in July, right here in Lafontaine.  Brian is enjoying his wood turning and after all these years with formal training as a carpenter he is now an emerging artist.

May was a particularly busy month for me as I traveled to Burlington to teach a class on "near-death experience". The next day I traveled to Guelph and again to Kitchener-Waterloo for an alumni gathering of Moonstar Lodge members. We had the opportunity to gather, do ceremony, eat wonderful food, and channel. A couple days later I traveled over to the Goderich area and made some stops to see people along the way...  Last weekend we had our gathering of shamans many of whom have been with us now for nearly 20 years! It was a really exciting weekend and I so enjoy getting together twice a year with this special group of people. This year were planning wedding for one of our members and that's always a precious, rare opportunity to practice traditional ceremonies in a public venue. 

I will get back to using this blog to discuss current issues within parapsychology. Life is settling down a wee bit so I can hopefully attend to this blog on a more regular basis.  Right now a prayer shawl is calling me! I am nearly finished this one and it reminds me of rainbow popcorn.

Have a blessed weekend!

Moody Winter

I was aghast to rise and see winter on the trees, and settled on the lawn... my calendula are covered over in a snowy blanket, so there are no more crops. I bagged the last dry florets today... I'm overcome with that gripping numb reality that says, "snow tires NOW", "get the clothespins in NOW", and who can forget "wipe your feet NOW"...

The first snow is like losing your virginity... You can't say "I didn't like that, so I want to go back a be a virgin again." No matter how unpleasant the experience, you are changed... I'm at the other end of the spectrum. Winter's arrival is like menopause's arrival - cold, hard, fast and not predicted. My emotional landscape is covered in some schizophrenic crap and I easily fall and slip in it.

Like tonight. So not a stellar night to be writing anything the world will read. Except to say a dear friend, while visiting on the weekend, suggested I have too many spatulas. I countered that not all of them are for the same purpose, and I am writing a cookbook - all kitchen tools are on deck these days. She didn't believe me... she thinks I'm hoarding spatulas. Weird Al Yankovic and I are maybe the only people in the world who appreciate spatulas - he pays homage to them in a video where the protagonist goes to spatula world.

Maybe it's not menopause after all... maybe it's the attack on my culinary tool collection. I suggested I might take some spatulas up to the bedroom - isn't that a novel usage? My visiting friend just laughs at me, and says she misses my humour. Good thing she lives far away when I've slipped on my hormonal nightmare and landed in the sewage.

However, my husband, who turned 61 today, is knee-deep in the menopausal morass.

I promise I will get back to all things paranormal in a couple of days - really, I promise! :)  I would rather speak about the Ontario Multifaith Committee (OMC) conference I just attended on the weekend...  It was, as always, highly impactful and nourishing for my soul.  It amazes me how savvy and connected people can be when they have a common agenda.  In this instance the OMC mandate covers their responsibility to oversee that the spiritual needs of inmates in prisons (and to some degree other government institutions) are honoured and protected.  Even in Canada there are gross violations of human rights and spiritual/creed laws.  So the fact that OMC has lost its funding from the Ministry of Community and Social Services became another tangent of the bonding, common agenda under which we operate.  The conference food is fair, the accommodations are spartan, but the spiritual dynamism is so inspiring and rich nourishment that is hard to surpass.  I am a better person for the effort to attend.

On Tuesday evening I came home to find a cheque waiting in the mail - a cheque from a friend who knows we are hurting, and needing some money to get us through to the open houses later this month.  I am humbled by her words of support as much as the money.  It validates that moving back into my original direction (Moonstar Lodge) is the correct thing to do...  I studied hard and long to be a medium, healer and shaman.  To that end, I find great comfort in returning full time to this part of my walk on the red road. I love talking to the "spooks" (my affectionate term of endearment), and seeing beyond the limitations of my human eyes and imagination.  See?  This is bordering on references to the paranormal.

One of the only downturns to this week, as we prepare to do some drum-making with highschool kids, is that I'm forced to withdraw from my fibromyalgia medication, due to the cost and the side effects.  I have nothing left to use, except acetaminophen, which really does nothing anymore.  The act of withdrawal means my head aches, I'm nauseated, knees, ankles and feet are swollen, and I am in pain.  Big time.  Not a happy week.  The dizziness and palpitations are better today than yesterday, and I am sleeping, so that helps.  It will be better by the weekend, I pray.

Well, I have to get back to my other work, so see you soon!  Blessings, Kat

Not getting a lot of sleep lately...  pneumonia for the last two weeks, and my fibro med has the lovely side effect of insomnia...  So as it approaches 4 AM on this surprisingly warm night, I am going to keep my promise and attempt to recount some of my ghost hunting tales...

My experiences of spirits started as a small child, long before I knew what a "ghost" was...  apparently my mother was aware of a spirit standing over my crib, in the brand new house she had built for her in Guelph.  She didn't know who this might be, so she trundled down Victoria Rd to the York Rd Baptist Church (later to become the Triangle Photo Centre) and talked to the minister there...  He visited and being psychic, proclaimed it was her mother!  My grandmother Rose died when I was not quite ten 11 months old.  My father, whose drinking was escalating,  was at times very violent.  He couldn't hold a job for long, so my younger sister Judy and I were often left in his care while my mother went to work at the local hospital.  When his mood turned violent, I would ask the angels (who I saw quite clearly, and assumed everyone else did) to help me hide.  The directed me to closets and behind the furnace and I remained safe.  In grade school my mediumistic predilections were noticed by neighbours, and some would have the gall to take me downtown to Woolworth's (on the bus) on the pretext of having a sundae or a muffin.  What I learned, sadly, was that they wanted to get me away from my mother to pump me for future-based information.  I was not very old before I became guarded about this whole psychic thing.  I did do a speech at school on Bluenose Ghosts, after a family trip down east in 1966 - I got an award!

By my teens I was totally turned off - I loved reading and studying about ghosts, and even advanced my skills, but not for the purpose of letting people know.  I struggled with my concept of death and God - it created a terrible stress for me, when the Presbyterian Church was a huge part of our family life.  I drifted toward Spiritualism, and began visiting the Spiritualist Church in Brantford.  There were two pivotal events in highschool that haunted me for years - the death of a classmate, which I foretold in September, and the death of a teacher the next year.  I will continue my story as it appears I have run out of room for this blog entry!

Wowee pneumonia sucks!  I have so much to do today to get through the end of the week and prepping for the shows...  I hate when my body doesn't co-operate with my mind.  The open houses are just a month away, and in the meantime I have the Ontario Multifaith Council conference to attend and drum making at the local highschool over a two-day period all before the open houses....  We are doing these for the first time in many years, and absolutely the first time in Lafontaine.  The dates we've chosen are Saturdays Nov. 17, 24, Dec. 1 &2, 8 and 15.  The Dec. 1 & 2 days are the "big" open house, lasting for the weekend, and we have guest artists arriving...  Thankfully Angeni has Nov. 16th off of school so she can help us set up for the first Saturday we're open.

Brian is making drums over the next couple of weeks so they have time to "cure" and then I do some artistic designs on them.  I've been knitting hat and scarf sets, prayer shawls, shrugs, and sweaters.  I have quilts and jewelry - both native and sacred designs.  There are dolls and bears, native cosmetics and sacred medicines.- lots of different odds and sods.  I'm proud of the work we've done.

In the meantime I guess I have to be patient with myself and allow myself to heal.  The antibiotics are NOT pleasant, but I will persevere

I'm too tired to write more...  Have a blessed day!  Kathryn.

So I am pushing myself to bring up a topic that causes great angst in my life, and the lives of many aboriginal people - "lateral violence".  What is it?  It's known by a number of names:
• work place bullying
• horizontal hostilities/violence
• internalized colonialism
• relational aggression

I have included a link to a very short, but totally valuable commentary on the subject by the Native Women’s Association of Canada (NWAC):
http://www.nwac.ca/sites/default/files/reportsboriginalLateralViolence%20-%20web%20version.pdf

Here is another comment:  “ When a powerful oppressor has directed oppression against a group for a
period of time, members of the oppressed group feel powerless to fight back and they eventually turn
their anger against each other.” – Jane Middleton-Moz

I have worked for private corporations, provincial ministries, hospitals, corrections, the literacy community, and ultimately for no one but myself.  The perpetrators of lateral violence have most often crept up in the public sector jobs we've had - by both our staff peers and management.  I am still recovering emotionally from physical and emotional abuse experiences that happened in childhood, but also from the extreme personal devastation of experiencing this lateral violence in the workplace.  It actually emanated from aboriginal employees who live within the community, and 2 local aboriginal agencies which coveted the contract we received...  Everything was questioned - our "nativeness", our spirituality, our teachers, our traditions, our lifestyle, and even the fact that we are Elders.  This went on for almost 5 years - we gave up the farm and our animals to come here for the contract we were given, and are forever grateful for the experience of living here...  We worked hard to create a great home for our daughter, and not sacrifice too much of what we are intrinsically, as individuals.  The financial reward was wonderful.  The friends we amazing resilient people.

Neither Brian nor I consider ourselves victims.  Not at all.  From a spiritual perspective, we bring to us experiences we need to learn from, and can possibly be "agents of change'.  In this instance, I think we were not agents of change at least not at the local level.  One of our chaplain friends very succinctly put it that "the dark side won".  The lessons were ours to learn - we shone in our job and got exemplary reviews, but we were too "nice" and did not always build clear boundaries.  We did not want management to see us as the same "nasty Indians" they were used to working with - so we were people who pretty much always turned the other cheek.  Nice guys often do finish last.  However, I would NOT stoop to the level of the agencies and people who were purposely hostile.  It is important to acknowledge that while we have been plunged into unemployment, we still have our spirits and souls intact.  The bruising has not yet gone away.

So we are looking at spiritual institutions and other public agencies who do "good" work.  These are the people savvy in the ways of working with employers who don't know how to ameliorate lateral violence.  I do not want a pound of flesh - I just don't want this to continue happening to us personally, and the First Nations, Inuit and Metis people of Canada.  I have asked for divine guidance, and my gnostic conscious self knows that some how, some way, the right thing will happen and ultimately the dark side will have lost this one...  I have enough Mohawk in me to still be a spiritual warrior, albeit a tired one.

In the meantime Brian and I are having a great time refocusing on our art and spiritual careers.  Our open houses are looming and I will be in the company of my spiritual peers in a couple of weeks.  it's all good and I am mostly at peace.

Sleep well friends.

New day - we had such wild weather yesterday and through the night!  Snow, hail, rain and winds gusting to 70 kph.  I'm surprised all the flowers haven't wilted!  We have some sage to finish harvesting, and that needs to happen soon or it will be mush.  I thought David Phillips of Environment Canada said this would be a long, warmer-than-average autumn season.  He has been so wrong!  It's been colder and certainly wetter than I think it should be for early October.  Maybe I'm spoiled from the long, hot summer...

I'm playing with an Apple iPad that was loaned to me for a few months.  I'm comparing it with the Blackberry Playbook I own...  so far I find that the BB will play any Youtube video I've wanted to see, but the iPad does not.  That's the only strike against it so far...  it certainly charges quickly and has a plethora of "apps".  Once I figure out the design software, I'll have a better notion.  We've never had Apple products in this home, so it certainly is a unique learning curve!

My scarf and hat sets are taking shape...  I'm also gearing up to use my SK 150/151 knitting machine/ribber combo again.  I haven't touched it in at least 18 years, so reading the instruction book is like attempting to read gibberish.  I am trying to reframe my distress at forgetting so much about the damned machine.  I love making yardages of knit fabric, then cutting and sewing/serging clothing.  Otherwise it is limiting - I don't hand knit as fast as I machine knit, but I find that if you are doing any sort of patterning or cabling, the knitting machine is slower...  I have some new designs in my head for knitwear and I'm a bit stalled with the creation of same.  It will come...  I've never been known for my patience.  :)  I do need a kick in the proverbial pants when it comes to making some chakra healing jewellery.  My head isn't there right now at all.

As for spiritual musings, I am thankful for my angels today.  I am feeling much gratitude for the clarity and the ease of the physical pain in my head and legs.  People are asking me what I think about the Mayan calendar and the "end" of time on Dec. 21st...  I for one, am having a winter solstice party on Dec. 21st - it arrives just after 6 AM, so I won't warm the canapes until we see what happens.  Just joking there...  I believe that this is a shifting of consciousness time, rather than an end of the physical world.  My guides and teachers have said nothing to me of apocalypses or other calamitous events on or around that date.  When you educate and elevate a core group within a larger  group, the rest of the larger group start to follow along (even with resistance).  Corporate structures bank on this paradigm.  I think winter solstice and the end of the Mayan calendar is about spiritual elevation within humanity.  That being said, archeologists have found information that suggests the calendar doesn't end for a few hundred years.  I guess we shall see!

Blessings friends on this blustery day.

Been awhile....

A lot has happened for Brian and I this past 16 months...  He was diagnosed with cancer in June 2011 and had bowel/rectal cancer surgery in August 2011.  It took quite a while to recover from completely.  Then we were unsuccessful in getting the contract back at CNCC (a superjail in Penetanguishene)...  From there Brian waited for open heart surgery.  It was very painful and agonizing watching him go through the physical decline of ihs heart issues, while grieving the loss of our employment.  Once the surgery happened in August, we've gone through hell again as he recovered this time.  And he is still recovering - every day gets a little better...

Despite everything that has gone on, we've still managed to dream with the medicine wheel.  It is important to recreate ourselves.  As the summer moves into autumn, we are beginning to embrace the gift we've been given - the opportunity to return to activities we love and enjoy! 

• We've done some teaching in the community.  
• There has been time to rebuild and finish our respective studios.
• We are planning a series of open studio days in November and December.
• I am channeling again for people - particularly enjoying doing so on Skype.
• I am designing some fabulous knitwear.
• Writing, writing, writing - I'm planning a book on psychospiritual development.  I'm beginning to connect with publishers.

We see this time as the necessary "kick in the pants" to get us going with what we really love.  The surgeries remind us both that this third dimensional life is limited, and there is no time like the present to do what we love and are good at!!  Why wait?

Blogging is an important part of this process.  I hope I can be more available to keep this blog up-to-date.  There is nothing I love more than talking about spiritual issues and textile design.  So that is what I intend to direct this blog into - with the odd tangent.  Let me know what you'd like me to address and I'll do my best to chat on these subjects.

Blessings to everyone on this wild weather, autumn day!

Heartbreaking news....

I am mortified to share that my little sister, Judy Coddington, died of unknown causes on Nov. 25th... It took everything I could muster to do her eulogy this past Saturday... Here is her obituary...

Coddington, Judy - of Sauble Beach, suddenly at Grey Bruce Health Services Wiarton on Wednesday, November 25th, 2009. The former Judy Arlene Gorman at the age of 50 years. Loving wife and best friend of Brad. Devoted mother of Natalie Lamb, of Owen Sound, Melanie Lamb and Jamie Lamb (friend Kristin), all of Guelph. Cherished Gramma to Benjamin and Jerry. Judy will be sadly missed by her sister Rev. Kathryn Gorman-Lovelady (Brian), of Penetanguishene; brothers-in-law; sisters-in-law; nieces; nephews; and many good friends. Predeceased by her parents Gerald and Beulah Gorman; and her father-in-law and mother-in-law Clifford and Audrey Coddington. Friends are invited to gather with the family to share memories during a time of visitation at the Thomas C. Whitcroft Funeral Home & Chapel, Sauble Beach (519) 422-0041 on Saturday, November 28th, 2009 from 2-3 pm, where a service to celebrate Judy's life will be conducted from the chapel at 3 o'clock. Cremation to follow. Donations to the Arthritis Society would be appreciated.

Judy Coddington
1959 - 2009

I didn't find out she was dead until nearly noon on Thursday... I am still in a state of shock... I went back to work today because I needed to be busy and stay on top of my work obligations.

It changes how I am approaching Christmas... As we move into this blessed season, I wish all my friends and extended family the best that the Creator shares with us. Happy December.

8 months since I last wrote!! Ooooppss... We had the same weird, brief summer that everyone else did... No travel, just some weeks off to work around the house. Angeni is growing like a weed - she's 5' 8" now, and looks like she should be in university rather that grade 6...

We're down a cat... Dear silly Bob was killed back on April 2nd. We miss the little buggar. No other new pets, although I'm still interested and researching yorkie-poos like Pooky was... I was remembering her on Oct. 30th, which was her birthday. We cannot have another dog without a kennel licence, so we cannot get another yorkie-poo until one of our other dogs has passed.

Work goes well. There are new and improved resources for the aboriginal inmates, and it looks like our community partners are coming on board to help us. As our duties increase, our time on the floor decreases, so it is important to have community support volunteers to assist with the existing circles. We have the opportunity to expand things greatly but only with enough bodies to fill the support roles... October was a busy month of travelling. I managed nearly a week in North Bay for a NILO conference, and just this week returned from Jackson's Point. There I participated in an Ontario Multifaith Council conference.

In the meantime, we didn't do medicine wheel gardens here at home, but did manage some wonderful gardens around the front of the house. There was a lot of reconstruction of the yard as well as the house, so we couldn't do much with medicine gardens. We did have one at the jail. So much renovation, though... a new roof, insulation of the basement, new windows and double doors. Also, another fireplace in my studio, new walls in the studio and new drywall in the garage. The floors in the upstairs are all replaced and the "other" bedroom is now a beautiful wolf den, ready for guests with a fireplace. The library, now finished, is a wonderful resting area, and Brian finished that bathroom... Now it is my studio that remains to be plastered and painted... When it is finally all complete I will have a comfortable, neat place to work. Right now I'm in my jewellery making mode. It's what appeals to my creative self...

Guess that's all for now... Have a good November!!

Wow... I could have had a V8

Okay, so I've been away from this for awhile... Lots happening in my life, but I have no excuse for neglecting this blog... It's my birthday today, so I thought I'd clean things up.

Our work is going well, and we're doing a lot of programs with the aboriginal offenders. We've connected in a meaningful way with the aboriginal community and I look forward to participating in local art shows this spring. I'm hoping to have my own open house this summer.

I see the light at the end of the tunnel with respect to the renovations of the house - thankfully. We're down to the "lipstick and mascara" to quote Mike Holmes. Peaches the chihuahua is doing a great job of becoming the party dog of the house... Less than a year ago she was a snarling feral runaway. Now she is a bed snuggler and slipper thief. And she likes her special outfits - bathing suit, dressing gown, tutu, and other canine fashion statements. Spunky, Max and Starr are doing their usual thing, although they miss the 50 acres.

Speaking of Durham, that property finally sold in late November and all the running back and forth kept us really busy. We finally are getting out from under the debt load, and I'm thankful for that... Angeni was really missing her old school, but this year is fully adapted to life in Penetang - she even joined the school council.

I spent some rough days last month in hospital with ruptured ovarian cysts - ouch. The problem continues, and we're monitoring it. I don't relish peritonitis and I dislike the headache and nausea. Movement is difficult when the acute abdomen develops. However I didn't miss much work, and I assume this will ebb with menopause. I've resumed knitting socks when I'm housebound, and that's a fun thing to do when I'm not feeling great.

It's coming up to the 7th anniversary of my mother's passing... I think about her a lot. It amazes me how much processing of the mother-daughter relationship I've done... It will be 2 years since Pooky died (in June) and I miss her desperately... A different relationship but just as dear. Now, one of my peers is leaving for San Diego, and I will miss her... Life is precious.

Brian is well. He put on a belly when he stopped doing the farm chores last year. His response is a Pilate's/yoga class that both he and Angeni seem to be enjoying. He's lost 10 pounds in less than 2 months, without changing his diet, just doing the class weekly. Interestingly, the township postponed one Monday night because of "Family Day" last month and he really noticed it, and missed it. Strength and balance at its finest.

All in all a good start to 2009. A great birthday today... A wonderful life...

Welllllll...

What a summer and what a September!! Been in a car accident, almost sold my house twice and did a professional development seminar... Our new house has heat and A/C now as of today, and we're about a month away from getting some furniture. The studio is done after many months of hard work and I've resumed my sewing. I'm pooped. It's autumn equinox today, so we're half-way to winter...

Peaches continues to expand her people skills. We took her to the beach on the leash a few times, and she seemed to relish the walking. Her leach skills are good, but she can still escape through 2 layers of sheep fence. Escape artist extraordinaire. The rest of the animals are fine...

Angeni is enjoying another year with a favourite teacher in the new school in Penetang. She is in a 5/6 split, so that is stimulating for her to work at the level of the older kids. She grew about 3" over the summer after many weeks in day camp. She had more adventures in one summer than I've had in a lifetime.

Summer zooms by...

Been a long time since I posted - haven't abandoned the blog, just settling in and renovating takes all the time we have outside of work. The studio is within sight, but not quite complete. New windows and doors are being installed and we have to get the heating thing sorted out yet. I won't be on electric heat for another winter.... The Durham house is still for sale, but all the reno's there are done.

Angeni is enjoying the Tiny Twp camp and is entering her 6th week of it... given the long weekend we're just completing, this is a short week. She turns 10 next Monday!!! What a decade!!!

Peaches is grooving along, and would be a model dog except for the urinary incontinence. I think her spaying was problematic, as this isn't really healing. All the other animals are doing fine...

To end this glorious long weekend we're having a family camp fire in the yard... time to go get that started.

Settling In...

Not settling for... Hmmm. That sounds cranky, but it isn't meant to be... Rather, I am making sure that how I move in here reflects what I want and how I want the place the be... We're still without heat in about 40% of the main floor, so I can't set up my work room. It's still too cold out there.

I'm struggling with an abscessed tooth and the horror of walking pneumonia. I've taken today and tomorrow off work to allow me to heal. Other than a funding proposal to finish, I am caught up. I'm involved in prepping for a National Aboriginal Day celebration, so we can present the institution with a painting by Eve Dexter of white buffalo. Finding dignitaries to participate, and native dancers, is a trick. And expensive. We'll see how it pans out.

We're working specifically on the library and office. The office is 90% done, while the library is maybe 70% done. We need to purchase some more bookshelves and finish installing the electric fireplace to make it complete. It looks quite spiffy in there, actually. There is an adjoining bathroom - sink and toilet only - which we've managed to make look quite grand. As we separate out the stuff for a garage sale I'm amazed at what I can now let go of - solid pine end tables made in 1977 by my first husband, dressers, all our Ikea furniture, lamps, kitchen overflow and just incredible amounts of stuff. It's like an archaeological timetable of my life. I am able to let it all go.... Good, healthy stuff. There is a sense of relief, actually, it just letting things go... maybe I'm becoming Buddhist? Nah, I like jewellery too much.

Angeni is finally accepting of her new school in Penetang. This is a much anticipated adjustment. She still sees the kids she left behind as her 'best" friends, yet they don't communicate at all. The dogs have not adapted to their confinement in the small yard. The dog control officer told us of complaints he's received, so we have to tie them up until we can fence the yard. Better to be good neighbours than have happy dogs.

Better get back at it - the office won't be right until I finish it.

Long time coming...

It's Sunday March 9th, a week after my 51st birthday, and I'm chilling to Pink Floyd... I apologize for the loooonnnnggg time away from this blog. At the last entry we'd been to work for two weeks and dealing with extreme financial and moving stresses. I get huge numbers of emails every day, although who these emails come from has changed... few clients and more work-related tomes. So let me catch up on what has happened... These won't be in any particular order, just as they come to mind...

My lovely Nonny had to be euthanized on Monday, Feb. 25th. She had developed lung cancer, after her kitty mastectomy last June (the week Pooky died). She was cognizant of who we were, and even in weakness meowed her recognition and purred on my pillow... I had Nonny almost 17 years. She goes back to the early days when I lived with Fred. I chose her from amongst a group of new kittens at the KW animal shelter. At 6 weeks old, she was sitting there, like the Sphinx, with other younger kittens crawling all over her. To say she was mellow was an understatement. Nonny never got caught up in the household cat/dog hierarchy. Ethol, her original house mate was always "The Quoon" and kept everyone in their place. Even after Ethol passed in December 2005, it was Zuna who took over the crown. Nonny was just herself. I called her Nonny Monster, but she was always the antithesis of a monster. She was much-loved and is much-missed.

Angeni started school in Penetang on January 7th. I really like her teacher, Mrs. Ball, who watches her interactions and doesn't pressure Angeni. Mrs. Ball has a wisdom and gentle approach that Angeni needs. Slowly she is making friends - this coming March break week Angeni is going to a day camp run by the community, so there is more opportunity to meet her friends and simply play. There were a lot of tears the first couple of months, but now we see more relaxation and laughter. It was clearly very hard for Angeni to give up the only home she ever remembered. She is resilient, in the face of all the changes.

We've moved in, more or less, to this new home. There are parts of it without heat, so Brian and Del are moving forward on a boiler system to replace the electric baseboard heat we now have. There is propane here for a faux fireplace, and the hot-water heater, so we have the opportunity to go all-gas. I smell a joke in that statement, but I won't go there.... Anyway, I miss my studio space, and until the heat is in the large room on the west of the house, I can't set up my sewing or knitting machines. What I notice I miss the most right now, is making jewelery. That surprised me, when it bubbled up from my subconscious. Soon, within the next month, I should be functional in the studio - this will help me feel more settled. Of everyone in the family I am the least settled. While I miss Durham for the space and peace, I relish being close to the water. But I won't be "here" until every last box is completely unpacked.

I guess this is enough of an update for today... While it should be a sleepy Sunday, Brian has been plowing the yard for 3 hours now, and it is lunchtime. He's got his tractor back, so he's still tractor dude. If the old tractor could run on testosterone, we'd be set - Brian's reaction to the tractor is similar to "Tim the Tool Man Taylor" - grunt, grunt, grunt. Boys and their toys.

Have a blessed week, and maybe spring will peak through shortly!!

Happy New Year to everyone! May 2008 bring the brightest blessings for you all... We are not really doing a festive thing, just had a quiet evening watching other revelers. I read a good book "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert - this is an excellent read if you like spiritual journeys. Ms. Gilbert happens to have a similar sense of humour to my own, so I'm really liking her writing style. My New Year's night contained massive heartburn, and a sore throat, so I'm laying low today. Or is that lying low? Got to dust off my grammar books.

All the animals are adjusting quite well to the new surroundings. Starr had taken to peeing, etc. in the office because when he was tethered on a long rope, he wouldn't "go" outside. We're trying to keep the dogs off the road and out of the neighbours' yards - this is a challenge. Maxine won't come upstairs, and doesn't like being left outside for long. Spunky, for an old dog, has adapted quickly and without developing problem behaviours. The cats are enjoying the new house. Bob went outside for a little while one day, and basically hid under the trailer until I called him. No further requests for outside. Nonny is sneezing. If she isn't better by tomorrow afternoon I'll find her a local vet. Zuna has bladder irritation, so I'm trying to give her an antibiotic - this is like trying to get a shark to ballet dance. Not easy. Otherwise Mr. Bill is still flying the furniture (like Snoopy flies his doghouse) and all is well.

Brian went back to the Durham house on Saturday to clean and retrieve some missing items. He ended up leaving without some of the things as he just didn't have enough room in the van and trailer. He will wait until spring to gather the remainders. It was a long tiring day made even longer by driving a round trip in one day.

It is a quiet New Year's Day. I plan to cook a roast and tidy more of the house. We bought a new stove so I don't have the psycho-stove experience any longer. For all the work its taken

I'm enjoying my new kitchen, but have one box of utensils still missing out back. Every room is a mess except the kitchen... We've found most of our clothes, I think, but I'm missing a specific bit of native jewellery and that troubles me. I have to have my studio space up and functional by the end of March, as I'm expected to teach topical embellishment at the Doll Artists AGM in April. This means finding my stuff and making up kits.

We're having a bit of nasty weather with high winds and blowing snow today. I wasn't expecting this... It drops to -18 degrees overnight with a high of only -12 tomorrow. Brian says by Sunday it's supposed to be +5 degrees and rain!!! Weird winter, and I'm sick of it now. I hope the roads are ploughed - in the meantime we're back to work tomorrow.

Enjoy this wonderful new year of 2008. Intuitively it feels like a major positive year.

Christmas Day

Oh what a wild month... We moved, and I still need to find all my clothes... Boxes everywhere. No internet until Christmas Eve... I went to bed appreciating that Brian could put our bed together - no more crawling on the floor... Two weeks of futon on the floor is too much for my back.

It was a quiet day for a Christmas. No visitors, no extra guests for dinner. I still struggle with childhood memories... Angry, drunken and abusive/violent father alone in the house with 2 scared little girls because our mother was working at the hospital. The scenes play and replay, and the sense of hollowness is as fresh now as it was 40 years ago. I try so hard to make Christmas so very different for our little girl. This year with no money, no ornaments, no Christmas tree, it feels a little empty. No money to exchange gifts with my husband. At least we could get an oven and a dishwasher (all on credit) to make a reasonably good meal. I want to get the better of my ghosts of Christmas past.

I like my new kitchen arrangement. The cupboards are great, although we don't have a table in the kitchen. My old monstrous pine table is too big for the space, so we have it in the livingroom for now. Later it will morph into a sewing table when we have a smaller one to replace it...

The new job is working out quite nicely. Brian and I appreciate the really nice people we work with in chaplaincy. It makes for a peaceful oasis when working in a prison setting.

The dogs and cats made it safely. The cats are pretty much acclimated, but Starr is having some problems with keeping put in our yard. No 50 acres here. So he's having accidents in the house and dislikes being tied to a tether in the yard. Max won't come upstairs with us at night, meaning the cookie routine at bedtime has been eliminated. We're not sure why Max isn't coming upstairs. The dogs seem really worried.

We've settled in to the idea of a trip to Wasaga tomorrow as Angeni wants this Nintendo thing at Walmart. I can't imagine what kind of zoo that will be... She got some gift cards, so we'll try.

I hope the season is brilliant and healing... That peace flows through you like a stream... And love replaces everything that hurts or haunts you. A-ho.

Anniversary Snooze

I can't believe we've been together 13 years today... and married 12 years ago today!!! One baby and a million animals later, we're still happy and still laughing. The move is a mere 3 days away and we're up to our ears in boxes. The house is painted and unrecognizable. While I'll miss this place, I have to disconnect spiritually and emotionally so it will sell... It is quite an unusual feeling to be a week away from full-time work and a regular paycheque. I think we'll do alright.

The more things change...

Well, in my case things aren't staying the same. Wow. On Nov. 16th we got word of a new posting in the Penetanguishene area. We've painted the house, renovated the bathrooms, and packed about 2/3rds of our life. We secured our financial stuff, and generally have complete chaos in the home. All the animals are distressed. I am distressed that the outside animals won't come in on moving day, and they'll get left behind - meaning friends will have to come and get them and bring them to us... I'm trying not to put that thought out as a fear to the universe, just something to plan around.

I'm going to miss this place in Varney and all the memories: llamas, alpacas, chickens, Jujube the donkey, Lucky and Mabel the horses... We arrived with Nonny, Zuna Piggles, Ethol Louise Carnivore, Spike and Pooky, and those last 3 have passed... We acquired Mr. Bill, Max the 1st (now deceased), Bob, Spunky, Maxine, Starr and Angel Piggles... I'll miss the pines, the sense of womb-like seclusion, and most of all, the spirit of this land.

Our new jobs put us in contact with a native population that requires our services, and we'll be paid. That's kind of novel, for us. Our new home has more space in the house and fewer stairs. What we lose in property we gain in proximity to the beaches and water - a big deal for Angeni. This is a 9-year cycle that ends a distinct chapter in our lives - Angeni's early childhood.

When I'm an old lady I'm pretty sure I'll review my life and remember this home as the one I loved the most.

Moody Winter

I was aghast to rise and see winter on the trees, and settled on the lawn... my calendula are covered over in a snowy blanket, so there are no more crops. I bagged the last dry florets today... I'm overcome with that gripping numb reality that says, "snow tires NOW", "get the clothespins in NOW", and who can forget "wear your boots/wipe your feet NOW"...

Experiencing the first snow is like losing your virginity... You can't say "I didn't like that, so I want to go back a be a virgin again." No matter how unpleasant the experience, you are changed... I'm at the other end of the spectrum. Winter's arrival is like menopause's arrival - cold, hard, fast and not predicted. My emotional landscape is covered in some schizophrenic blanket of crap and I easily fall and slip in it.

Like tonight. So not a stellar night to be writing anything the world will read. Except to say a dear friend, while visiting on the weekend, suggested I have too many spatulas. I countered that not all of them are for the same purpose, and I am writing a cookbook - all kitchen tools are on deck these days. She didn't believe me... she thinks I'm hoarding spatulas. Weird Al Yankovic and I are maybe the only people in the world who appreciate spatulas - he pays homage to them in a video where the protagonist goes to "Spatula World". I should apply as regional manager of Spatula World.

Maybe it's not menopause after all... maybe it's the attack on my culinary tool collection. I suggested I might take some spatulas up to the bedroom - isn't that a novel usage? My visiting friend just laughs at me, and says she misses my humour. Good thing she lives far away when I've slipped on my hormonal nightmare and landed in the sewage.

However, my husband, who turned 61 today, is knee-deep in the menopausal morass. He hasn't had a celebrated birthday. Didn't want a cake, so I baked him a pumpkin pie. It's the first time I didn't get him a card. I wasn't out, and e-cards are kinda crass - I'd rather not go there... We've worked hard lately, and it's a good thing the van needs extensive servicing in Guelph. He'll be away all day and I'll have the house to myself, to quietly work on jewelery commissions. I think a day away in Guelph and some time apart is good for us.

When he comes home, the snow tires will be on the van... I'll have the clothespins in the house, and a boot mat by the front door, with a place to wipe one's footwear. Maybe by that time, I'll meet him at the door with nothing on but a smile and a spatula clenched between my teeth. Yeah, right.

Halloween Havoc

I feel no remorse in stealing the name of a wrestling pay-per-view to title my blog entry. It is "All Saints Day" officially today, and "All Souls Day" tomorrow. The spooky triumvirate falls in the midst of the 2.5 weeks running from Oct. 25th to Nov. 11th, when the veil between worlds is the thinnest, and our communication with the departed is at its peak. How is your spiritual communication? Good, I hope - this is the perfect time to catch up on ethereal gossip and connect with those loved ones we haven't chatted with in awhile... I certainly do.

We had a number of occurrences here a couple weeks ago - the levitation of an umbrella in front of a client, the slamming of Angeni's door 3 times during a gathering, and finally the cord on the dining table lamp being pulled - and the light coming on - in front of Brian and myself. Seems my dad had something to say, and felt worried that Angeni spends too much time alone in her room. We acknowledged his concern - she has joined us more in the main part of the house - and the haunting behaviours have stopped for now...

Angeni and I have an annual mother/daughter ritual of going out for Hallowe'en together. I take her to the usual haunts in Varney, then into Durham, and home through the back concessions. It takes us about 2.5 hours. It was initially a bit tense, but she relaxed and we had a great time. The clocks used to go back to eastern standard time the weekend before Hallowe'en, but Canada is following the US initiative to wait until this coming weekend. Thus, we were going out at 6 PM while it was still light - that felt weird - but necessary with her bedtime and the route we take. Suffice to say we had a howling good time. The night was warm at 16 degrees Celsius, and it didn't start to rain until we parked the van at home - spooky!

Don't be the dummy who forgets to turn back your clock this weekend! Remember to sleep in and keep cozy.

Wild and Wacky Weddings

We had an interesting shamanic gathering on Sunday the 28th - it was our annual "feast of the dead" celebration for the ancestors, and additionally, a wedding. For weeks we busted our buns to get the renovations done that would give me a functional main floor bathroom (as long as the guests didn't need to shower) and a working kitchen. Why? Not only were we feasting at lunch, but after the wedding, we hosted the reception dinner, here at Moonstar. My goodness - I was still icing cakes at 11:00 PM the night before, and sewing special ceremonial shirts. Brian and I haven't worked that hard in years...

The animals were unusually silly during the festivities. Maxine was highly conflicted - she wanted to be inside with us, but the noise and the energy of 19 people had her agitated. So she went to the door every 5 minutes. Poor Denise was the one controlling Max's ins-and-outs. That duty should fall to a menopausal female, as those hormone rushes require some cooling off - that isn't Denise yet. I'd bought rawhide bones to keep them busy during the wedding, but the dogs decided that any other dog's bone was more interesting than the one they were given, hence some posturing started. It got a bit aggressive.

The cats, while very interested in cream cheese cake icing, were not as upset as the dogs. The only cat in the room during the main festivities was (surprisingly) Zuna. Nonny and the rest of the felines went to various sleeping stations upstairs, away from our madding crowd. No one's shirt caught on fire; no one set off the fire alarm; and there was enough food for all. The only technical glitch was the video camera didn't work during the ceremony. We all saw the light go on, and the aperture opening and closing - however, I suspect the ancestors don't like photos. Mercifully there were several digital cameras, so the "still" photographs happened.

So with a few days to clean up and rest, we're dealing today with Hallowe'en. Angeni and I have an annual mother-daughter routine, which I've done since she was very small. I drive her into Durham, after visiting the friends on Varney Road, and we come back about 9 PM. This is quite a silly evening for mother and daughter - it's one of the few things given my disabilities I can do with her. It is a warm day, but the wind is high - I know this is heralding a profound drop in temperature, and probably more rain, but I would like the wind to die down for this evening. I don't like the cold.

My friend Philomene will have arrived in Sedona by now... I hope her workshops are productive. I wish I was in Sedona right now, actually....

Have a Spooky Funky Hallowe'en!!!

A Tail of Two Kitties

So I'm sitting here with my old friend Nonny cat... I'm typing and she's purring. I was reminded of an old behaviour today when the phone rang - Nonny was lying on my desk at the time and reached over to sniff the phone. When we lived in Guelph, we had a huge buttoned speaker phone, which sat on a table by the window. Nonny would walk across this phone on the way to the windowsill to watch birds with Pooky.

We found out that even as a very young cat, she liked to order pizza.

When she walked across the phone, she first stepped on the speaker button... then hit the auto dial button for the pizza parlour in the Grange St. plaza. The first time we caught her, I could hear "Hello, hello??? Who's there? Damn kids!!!" Nonny was just sniffing into the microphone, and the guy could hear her - I guess he thought it was an obscene phone call... Clearly he didn't have call display. Since this was our favourite pizza place at the time, we stopped in one day and told the guy about the cat. He laughed, and said he understood, and also suggested we move the phone!! I couldn't really move the phone, I just had to watch Nonny a little more carefully.... He asked one time if he could come over and see Nonny do her thing. We obliged, and he set up his daughter to answer the phone when he was dropping off a pizza for us... He got a good chuckle - all I had to say to Nonny and Pooky was "Birds, Nonny, birds!!" and they scrambled to the window taking her usual route across the phone. When the daughter answered, Nonny sniffed away at the voice. Too funny.

Thankfully that old phone is long burned out, so Nonny can't order pizza. I wouldn't really mind, as long as she paid and there weren't anchovies on it...

As for the other tail/tale of kitties... Tonight I had to bake a wedding cake. Actually two - one to decorate in a silly manner, and one "for good"... I baked a third cake to decorate with gummy worms, gummy frogs, licorice babies, and marshmallow monster faces. Oh yeah, and gelatin body parts. This last cake is for the shamanic gathering tomorrow, where the wedding takes place. My shaman feast at lunch, and perform the wedding with me in the afternoon. After they leave, I'm doing a dinner for the happy couple - complete with wedding cakes. Anyway, I'm doing my level best to ice these cakes and naturally, every cat we own is in the house because of the rain. It's also a lot of fun to "help" mommy. Icing, especially butter cream and cream cheese are deeply yummy. Good to lick, good to sit on - you get the picture. It took 3 armed guards to watch the cakes while they cooled, in order to keep cats off them... Nonny, of all the cats, doesn't eat people food. Cakes are for sleeping on. Get it right. So after being dutifully decorated and wrapped, I've actually put them in my sewing room (door shut) for the night. Here's hoping they're safe.

It's going to be a loooooonnnnngggg day tomorrow. Gotta get some sleep.

It's been awhile...

Not sure why, but I haven't blogged in exactly a month. Part of this is the chaos of renovations, another part is all the time and effort spent job-hunting and finally the chaos of renovations. I'm not sure what is so disturbing about all of this, but it is disturbing. A friend suggested Brian and I take the time to do our pipe together - we haven't I must admit - in nearly 4 months. One reason I don't do my pipe as often is that I also have a direct line to spook land, and for whatever it's worth, they do have some interesting perspectives. One insight is, if we had the money when we first moved in here, we'd have done all these renovations 8 years ago - wallpaper removal, painting over their smoky walls, replacing the flooring (which had holes even then), updating the bathrooms and fixing the porch. Instead we put on a roof, put in a furnace and air conditioner, and built paddocks. So, even if we don't "move" away from here, we've done what most people do, and that's update and upgrade. If we don't move it will be a clean and fresh start.

The renovations are at all levels - physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual. It's never comfortable and never pleasant. We can't find anything - beloved chatchki's are not in their places and we can't find clean clothes. Both bathrooms are nearly out of commission because of the reno's and this is upsetting. Having no water for long periods of time is a bummer. Most of my appliances are moved and disconnected. What could possibly be worse? The clients are staying away in droves... No income, big bills, and a sense of not knowing whether we have to move or not... Even with a good chat line to the beloveds, they cannot make decisions for me/us, so they stay quiet. My choices are my responsibility. I accept that....

If I push the envelope and elect to stay, one or both of us must take an outside job. Brian is almost 61 and I'm 50 - there is an invisible gray ceiling, even with the tsunami of the boomer generation changing things. I have obvious physical limitations, and this is a hindrance - whether it 'should" be or not, it is... Classes are poorly attended and there is no ministerial income, It's all very disturbing.

It is four months ago today that my beloved Pooky died and I'm still grieving.

So I guess I probably (subconsciously) haven't written because I don't think people need to read my whining on this blog. I'll write when I have something upbeat and funny to say.

Take care... Kathryn

Renovation Boogey

Summer is back with a vengeance, even if just for a few more days... it's gorgeous out there, and we are blessed to have some painting going on to spruce up the outside. In another couple of weeks there will be too much rain for regular outdoor painting - hopefully this will be done by the weekend and Brian can move it all indoors. We're doing those little things to the place like replacing broken windows, adding a new screen door, tearing off old wallpaper, and removing visual clutter. The load of junk going out the door is incredible. Repairing and painting the inside walls will add considerably to the freshening of the place. I'm glad the windows can be open for most of the time... Neither Angeni nor I tolerate paint fumes.

Lucky and Mabel seem to be doing well in their new homes... Brian does miss Lucky, though, and we both notice how dead the barn feels without them. However, it is as the song says "time passages", and we must look ahead.

There is a new autumn newsletter, just published today - it has been emailed to everyone on our list, but after this evening it can be accessed from the website as well. Or email Brian and ask to be sent a copy... As it indicates, we've canceled our autumn equinox gathering this weekend due to all the renovations going on...

People have been asking about the book I was published in this summer... I don't have any extra copies, but they can be purchased from the Anishnabeg Outreach Centre in Guelph, or from Ningwakwe Learning Press directly. The book is called "River Bundles An Anthology of Original Peoples in the Waterloo-Wellington Region". If you contact me directly I can give you the email of my friend in the editorial group, the Plume Writers Circle. I also just received "Portico", the magazine of the Alumni Association at the University of Guelph, and I'm featured in an article on alumni with unusual jobs... Yeah, I'd say this is unusual.

Sometime soon you'll be able to see my art work in the Ontario Craft Council's web portal called the "Portfolio of Makers". This was submitted for a deadline in July, but I worked on it for nearly two years. It will be up and running shortly.... And, I have been contracted to teach native beadwork to a class during the Canadian Doll Artists Association convention next April. I've been a member now for almost 4 years, and I've never been able to afford to attend their convention. Now I get a chance to go and teach - how exquisite! Things are looking up in my art world.

Tonight is meet the creature night... I mean, Meet the Teacher night. We don't especially need to go, since this is the second year Angeni has been taught by this teacher, but Angeni is anxious for us to go... It's also a scam to buy books from Scholastic, which is what Angeni really wants in the long run. It's a tight month financially, so we'll see... It may be a quiet ride home.

Looks like we're doing a wedding here next month... more details to follow! Have a wonderful equinox weekend.

Winds of Change

Mabel and Lucky went to their new home yesterday, and the chickens head out today - right now in fact. That leaves the barn empty... All the dogs and cats that remain are healthy and happy and won't be leaving - Angeni is happy there are no more animals going anywhere.

We didn't get our jobs down east. The Dear John/Dear Jane letters arrived today. Out of 9 elders who applied, 7 were required, and Brian and I got dumped. It makes me reticent to talk about any further developments, as I don't want anyone else having to deal with our roller coaster. Some of the pressure of waiting is off, but even now, we've hit the ground running in our application for another position with a different ministry. It has to be done by Wednesday.

In the meantime, since we have to sell our home anyway, we're continuing with minor repairs and painting. The house is a royal mess - wall paper is partially stripped off in the downstairs, and there is a lot of damage in the plaster/drywall to repair before painting. With the bathrooms also requiring a lot of finishing and repair, we're going to cancel Autumn Equinox celebrations for this year. Getting this place done by the 22nd isn't possible, especially with Brian working part-time.

We're doing the day-by-day dance...

Lucky & Mabel

It is a bittersweet Sunday - we found new homes for Lucky and Mabel and our friends are coming today to pick them up. Eventually the chickens will go there as well... Angeni isn't really happy about this, but the best comfort I can offer is that we can visit our friends' farm anytime and see them - the horses won't forget us. Small comfort to a grieving child whose seen so many changes and experienced so much loss this summer...

However, life goes on, and Angeni is well entrenched in Grade 4. So far all she can say about her year is "boring" as there is a lot of writing and review, from her perspective. I trust it will liven up, and eventually whenever we get moved, she'll have the excitement of a new school to adjust to...

On this sleepy Sunday Brian is busily stripping wallpaper in the dining room. I've done my morning emails and scanned the news. We watched an episode of Celebrity Paranormal Project last night, so I did a bit of research on that episode's location. I miss being out "in the field" doing this exact work. I also miss standing in front of a congregation delivering messages. This celebrity show is quite ridiculous, as there is no recapitulation of what was found by the team of B-list celebrities - the entire show focuses the camera on their genuine fear and reactions to the paranormal. I'm not a fan, but I watch to see what I can discern in the background of the shots.

Anyway, as the day rolls along, I have 3 crystal necklaces to make (commissions) and a Metis ornamental ceremonial shirt to finish. I researched a more historically correct placket to finish the sleeves. This particular gentleman has arms longer than the pattern allowed, so this meant some tricky reworking of the sleeve with the cuff/placket. I'm pleased that I can get this finished in the next day or so to give him when he visits on Thursday. I figured out the tricky repair to a neckline of a rayon dress I've been mulling over, and hemmed 3 pair of pants which have been sitting there for months, awaiting my ministrations. I hemmed 2 new track pants for Angeni. She thought it was too warm for track pants, until I showed her the forecast for next week - some mornings it suggests no more than about 6 degrees when she gets on the bus!! She'll need the fleecy pants!! Slowly I am checking off the sewing list in my mind...

It's another couple of weeks before we hear whether we got the job postings or not... it's been stressful for the family. The wheels of government grind slowly, and I keep reminding Brian that is isn't personal. As will anything bureaucratic, there is a careful dotting of i's and crossing of t's... It isn't personal. The universe has to make things happen as it suits all parties involved, not just us because we're anxious to move on. The donkey and horses got placed speedily, and other aspects of this shift have happened swiftly and beautifully - we just need to be patient and allow the universe to unfold. Manifestation is happening.

Have a wonderful, blessed week...

Labour Day mission of Love

So it's the most exquisite sunny Sunday - the middle of the labour day weekend... we've had a quiet weekend at home as our original plans had to be changed. The nature of our life right now means we adapt to flying by the seat of our pants, and landing without skid marks on the runway. We'd originally thought to take Angeni to the beach today, and there were other options, but none of them could happen. Last night she and her father went to a bush party for a girl friend turning 10, and that was an important experience. The mere thought of "bush party" would normally send cold chills through most parents, but this was a family thing. They enjoyed themselves.

I've had problems with a bowel obstruction made worse by gastroenteritis. I felt like I should have lived in the bathroom for these last several days. However, sleep-deprivation and pain aside, we're going to attempt another barn-burner sleepover in the trailer, with our friend Philomene. This should be interesting... we've got snacks, sleeping bags, coffee and cream for the morning, stuffed animals, playing cards with cows on them, and I'll take my knitting. The guitar is a given, but I'm not sure about my kazoo. And who could forget those feminine hygiene products? (Angeni goes "ewww" when she sees them.) We'll have a night without cats or dogs, and Brian gets to sleep in the house by himself, lucky bastard.

Mabel and Lucky will be going to a new home this week in Gowanstown, along with the remaining chicken family. Our old friends Moe and Kath are quite happy to receive them, and I'm donating a disco ball for the chicken coop - there is one rooster who has a penchant for disco. Got to make the transition easy for him, right? That gets all of our charges dealt with who can't come with us on the next phase of our lives - and thankfully the horses have a home for life. No more moves... their fate could have been worse.

Anyway, we're doing some fairly complex renovations to the house and getting it ready to go on the market sometime soon. Stripping wallpaper is horrible, despite steamers, concentrated acid removers and scrapers. We inherited this paper from the previous owners and I've always hated wallpaper. For me, it's white walls, and wild colourful accents - I'm not stuck with what the walls dictate when I decorate that way... In the next few days, when Angeni goes back to school on Tuesday, we'll begin another intense round of purging. In analyzing what we'll keep and what we'll shed, we're looking at over 70% of what we own is being dispersed. It isn't worth lugging to a new home. This is a good exercise for me in letting go of old paradigms and shedding. A snake must shed it's skin in order to grow, and I must unburden myself from the load I've carried in order to blossom. It is time...

Have a wonderful, restorative, restful Monday.

School Break Boogey

So it is now officially a month left of summer... today is the 23rd of August and while humid and stormy, there are fallen coloured leaves in the driveway. It is a normal sign of the gentle transition to a new school year and the official end of summer on Sept. 23rd. I welcome the leaves, I don't welcome the commerce-driven, retailers' need to start putting out school supplies in July, and Fall/winter clothing by Civic holiday... there really is no need to rush the season by over 7 weeks. One regional dollar store had a full display of Hallowe'en supplies out the day after Canada Day - a full 3.5 months before it is really needed. It gives us the false notion that summer is ending soon and we're missing something. Our lives seem driven by the materialistic rush directed by retailers.

I don't call the school year start on Sept. 4th the end of summer - it is still almost 3 weeks from the start of school until the end of summer. I can still barbecue, still go to the beach and still wear shorts. Anarchist that I am, I will wear white after Labour Day, thank you. What's the rush? Conscious living precludes being in the moment, living fully - it is NOT being worried that if I don't get seasonally appropriate autumn clothes for Angeni by mid-August, that there won't be any to have... Nonsense.

It is the normal time to begin harvesting and preserving food for winter. It is the correct time to make medicines and purge things that no longer serve myself or the family. Late summer cleaning, and late summer "taking stock". All in good time...

The week started out on the cool side, but has become seasonally hot and humid, if overcast. A friend commented that the protracted cold wave has inspired her to close her pool early. I hope she holds off - I think we'll have another hot spell, and her kids will thank her for not closing the pool.

Angeni is away at a friend's cottage for the night. Brian is in Holstein, working, doing seed cleaning. I'm home - alone - for about 7 hours - it's the first time I've been completely alone since I went away with Pooky in early June. That seems like such a long time ago - 2.5 months or so. She's been dead now over 2 months... I miss Pooky still so very much, but I'm almost giddy that I have this private time to myself. I think I deserve a nap....

Spunky and Skunky

My goodness - our dear old dog Spunky approaches 10 years old. You'd think that with fairly recent past experiences of skunks she would learn. Nope - the Biggus, dad's girl, Queen of the Nip Nips has not learned the skunk lesson. Within the last 3 years she got sprayed twice in the same day. Normally Spunk is a good adoptive mother, and really smart, but her skunk attacks didn't teach the black Newf pups a damned thing.

A couple of mornings ago, our dearest Spunk took umbrage with a local Pepi Lepew, and got nailed. Right in the ear. Naturally she sleeps on the floor by my side of the bed, making the past few nights somewhat difficult - she takes my breath away, literally. I can't see worth a damn, so my sense of smell is quite acute. Leaving the window open is fine until about 3:30 AM when the stupid rooster starts. I wish the skunk would douse him with stink so he'd be quiet.... I'm the kind of sleeper that needs the room dark, and some kind of noise like a fan so I don't hear other noises. It's been too cool at night for the fan, so I'm stuck with rooster noise and Spunky Skunky Stink. It's the only time I don't smell Brian and his phenomenal digestive skills.

Angeni has a birthday party to attend this weekend, and she seems to be looking forward to it. This is a new little fellow to the neighbourhood, so I hope after his party he feels integrated. We've recovered from the birthday party last weekend for Angeni, and after a week of enduring us working, I am glad she gets Sunday afternoon to be with other children. She hasn't had exposure to many kids this summer. I have a blanket to sew for her - a gift from one of her friends. I was in no rush to finish it for her, but the down-turn in temperature makes the nights chilly, so she's asking for it. I've got it all pinned so it can be sewn tomorrow, after our morning client.

Well, I guess it is time to settle in for the night - Blogger records things in Pacific time, and I'm eastern, so it's getting past my bedtime. I wish I had ear plugs, but I can't really have nose plugs. I hope Spunky learns!!!

Birthday Blowout

Well it took weeks of prep, but the 9th birthday party has come and gone... Angeni had 4 friends visit - we're unsure what happened to one child, who didn't RSVP. I was so tired by the time yesterday came, that I'm glad Angeni's godmother Kaaren and our friend Phil came to entertain. It took 3 women and one man to keep 5 children in line... Anyway, she had a great day.

We very much needed the rain today... the grass is burnt to a crisp and the trees are beginning to show stress. Although t cleared up briefly before dinner, I see more clouds, so hopefully the long-predicted storms for today are going to be a reality.

It is quite a time for intense working, and we've had a trip for meetings in Bracebridge and Gravenhurst earlier in the week. We don't yet know the outcomes of the meetings, and won't until about the end of August - this is the hard part. We can't put our house on the market like it is, but we also can't afford the debt we'll have to carry to prepare the house for sale. without a signed contract. Weird dichotomy. So we content ourselves with purging - furniture, garbage, clothing, old housewares, unwanted appliances, and more. We haven't finished 1% of the work, and not really any packing away. However, the big house trailer is fixed and ready to transport should it come to that. Many of our clients are coming for final meetings with us, in case we have to move in a hurry and can't have closure.

On another note, the night after we buried Pooky, I found a breast mass on my old cat Nonny. By the end of the week she had a mastectomy. Now I notice she's twitching a bit, like an involuntary spasm. Not knowing cat auric colours with any sense of proficiency, I can't say for sure, but I suspect she has metastases in the brain. It would account for episodes where I see her pupils dilated unequally. Her behaviours haven't really changed and she's still eating and affectionate - we'll keep watch and see how she progresses. I will miss her if it's her time, but she's done well to pass 16 years.

Jujube has a new home on our farrier's farm. The horses were bugging him a lot, and he seemed unhappy. The farrier lives nearby and has another donkey, so Jujube has a friend and a job - guarding sheep. This change came about very quickly, so we have been blessed to get a good home for him. Now it is time for homes for Lucky and Mabel, hopefully together, but not likely. We think Mabel can go back to her original stable, as the fellow wanted her last year, and Lucky will take some work. As long as they aren't turned into dog food, we're happy. Saving Lucky these past 5 years wasn't for the purpose of having him killed by someone unscrupulous.

We're keeping our fingers crossed about this new venture - keep praying for us!! Blessings to all in these dog days of August...