Thursday, November 01, 2012

Moody Winter

I was aghast to rise and see winter on the trees, and settled on the lawn... my calendula are covered over in a snowy blanket, so there are no more crops. I bagged the last dry florets today... I'm overcome with that gripping numb reality that says, "snow tires NOW", "get the clothespins in NOW", and who can forget "wipe your feet NOW"...

The first snow is like losing your virginity... You can't say "I didn't like that, so I want to go back a be a virgin again." No matter how unpleasant the experience, you are changed... I'm at the other end of the spectrum. Winter's arrival is like menopause's arrival - cold, hard, fast and not predicted. My emotional landscape is covered in some schizophrenic crap and I easily fall and slip in it.

Like tonight. So not a stellar night to be writing anything the world will read. Except to say a dear friend, while visiting on the weekend, suggested I have too many spatulas. I countered that not all of them are for the same purpose, and I am writing a cookbook - all kitchen tools are on deck these days. She didn't believe me... she thinks I'm hoarding spatulas. Weird Al Yankovic and I are maybe the only people in the world who appreciate spatulas - he pays homage to them in a video where the protagonist goes to spatula world.

Maybe it's not menopause after all... maybe it's the attack on my culinary tool collection. I suggested I might take some spatulas up to the bedroom - isn't that a novel usage? My visiting friend just laughs at me, and says she misses my humour. Good thing she lives far away when I've slipped on my hormonal nightmare and landed in the sewage.

However, my husband, who turned 61 today, is knee-deep in the menopausal morass.
I promise I will get back to all things paranormal in a couple of days - really, I promise! :)  I would rather speak about the Ontario Multifaith Committee (OMC) conference I just attended on the weekend...  It was, as always, highly impactful and nourishing for my soul.  It amazes me how savvy and connected people can be when they have a common agenda.  In this instance the OMC mandate covers their responsibility to oversee that the spiritual needs of inmates in prisons (and to some degree other government institutions) are honoured and protected.  Even in Canada there are gross violations of human rights and spiritual/creed laws.  So the fact that OMC has lost its funding from the Ministry of Community and Social Services became another tangent of the bonding, common agenda under which we operate.  The conference food is fair, the accommodations are spartan, but the spiritual dynamism is so inspiring and rich nourishment that is hard to surpass.  I am a better person for the effort to attend.

On Tuesday evening I came home to find a cheque waiting in the mail - a cheque from a friend who knows we are hurting, and needing some money to get us through to the open houses later this month.  I am humbled by her words of support as much as the money.  It validates that moving back into my original direction (Moonstar Lodge) is the correct thing to do...  I studied hard and long to be a medium, healer and shaman.  To that end, I find great comfort in returning full time to this part of my walk on the red road. I love talking to the "spooks" (my affectionate term of endearment), and seeing beyond the limitations of my human eyes and imagination.  See?  This is bordering on references to the paranormal.

One of the only downturns to this week, as we prepare to do some drum-making with highschool kids, is that I'm forced to withdraw from my fibromyalgia medication, due to the cost and the side effects.  I have nothing left to use, except acetaminophen, which really does nothing anymore.  The act of withdrawal means my head aches, I'm nauseated, knees, ankles and feet are swollen, and I am in pain.  Big time.  Not a happy week.  The dizziness and palpitations are better today than yesterday, and I am sleeping, so that helps.  It will be better by the weekend, I pray.

Well, I have to get back to my other work, so see you soon!  Blessings, Kat