Tuesday, February 24, 2015

A long time coming…

So here we are in 2015. It's very obvious to anyone who's followed this blog that I haven't posted in a very long time - there is a reason for that… I've had a great deal of healing to do.  You'll notice from the history that in 2006 and 2007 my postings averaged about 3 every 2 weeks and then dropped dramatically after we started working for the government.  Finding the time and living through unending renovations made focusing on my blog [and Moonstar Lodge] the difficult thing.We worked for the ministry for 4 1/2 years and in that time developed programs, ran circles, fulfilled our Midewiwin obligations and raised a child. What we didn't expect to experience was the issue of lateral violence. We were outsiders in this community and as a result thought to be unworthy of the financial remuneration for the contract we successfully bid on.

Right now in 2015 there is an incredible emphasis on missing and murdered aboriginal women, missing and murdered aboriginal men and racism.  What isn't in the limelight is the issue of lateral violence.  In a nutshell lateral violence relates to aboriginal communities/individuals fighting with other aboriginal communities/individuals for money, gain, power or the limelight.  The dangling of some proverbial carrot is causing our own people to fight with each other in a way that we are not gaining anything and in fact supporting the agenda of "divide and conquer".

I came out of the aboriginal closet as a teenager and literally clawed my way through a morass of colonial genocide to be recognized and own who I really am...  I thought I had to be Métis because I lived off reserve and that is not so. Brian and I have made a concerted effort to ensure that our daughter [at 16] has not and does not know the same sorts of struggles. She owns, and knows exactly who she is and is out in the community as an aboriginal female. Gains have been made at governmental levels to some degree, but not where money is involved.  Anyway it's 2 1/2 years later and I've processed a whole lot of healing and grief. I've gone from being able to provide adequately for my family but now I am broke - but not broken.  The PTSD issues I had as a child flared for a while but I've got them under control. Part of my healing journey has been to recognize that the  4.5 years with the ministry were only part of the 34 years plus I've been doing what I do as Moonstar Lodge.  Lateral violence does not keep me down.  My studio is my sanctuary and I continue to perform and provide the services that my community requests.

For the 1st time in 7 years I am teaching Psychospiritual Development.  We've tried to offer classes in this community (they never ran) and yet this class is full! In the 7 years since we've been here our online presence, the World Wide Web has changed and we are changing with it!  I've got videos on YouTube as uncomfortable as that is, I'm still hearing from people who've watched my talks on a number of subjects… Midewiwin still happens… And life goes on.

I'm back. And this time I won't shut up :)

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