Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Christmas Day

Oh what a wild month... We moved, and I still need to find all my clothes... Boxes everywhere. No internet until Christmas Eve... I went to bed appreciating that Brian could put our bed together - no more crawling on the floor... Two weeks of futon on the floor is too much for my back.

It was a quiet day for a Christmas. No visitors, no extra guests for dinner. I still struggle with childhood memories... Angry, drunken and abusive/violent father alone in the house with 2 scared little girls because our mother was working at the hospital. The scenes play and replay, and the sense of hollowness is as fresh now as it was 40 years ago. I try so hard to make Christmas so very different for our little girl. This year with no money, no ornaments, no Christmas tree, it feels a little empty. No money to exchange gifts with my husband. At least we could get an oven and a dishwasher (all on credit) to make a reasonably good meal. I want to get the better of my ghosts of Christmas past.

I like my new kitchen arrangement. The cupboards are great, although we don't have a table in the kitchen. My old monstrous pine table is too big for the space, so we have it in the livingroom for now. Later it will morph into a sewing table when we have a smaller one to replace it...

The new job is working out quite nicely. Brian and I appreciate the really nice people we work with in chaplaincy. It makes for a peaceful oasis when working in a prison setting.

The dogs and cats made it safely. The cats are pretty much acclimated, but Starr is having some problems with keeping put in our yard. No 50 acres here. So he's having accidents in the house and dislikes being tied to a tether in the yard. Max won't come upstairs with us at night, meaning the cookie routine at bedtime has been eliminated. We're not sure why Max isn't coming upstairs. The dogs seem really worried.

We've settled in to the idea of a trip to Wasaga tomorrow as Angeni wants this Nintendo thing at Walmart. I can't imagine what kind of zoo that will be... She got some gift cards, so we'll try.

I hope the season is brilliant and healing... That peace flows through you like a stream... And love replaces everything that hurts or haunts you. A-ho.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Anniversary Snooze

I can't believe we've been together 13 years today... and married 12 years ago today!!! One baby and a million animals later, we're still happy and still laughing. The move is a mere 3 days away and we're up to our ears in boxes. The house is painted and unrecognizable. While I'll miss this place, I have to disconnect spiritually and emotionally so it will sell... It is quite an unusual feeling to be a week away from full-time work and a regular paycheque. I think we'll do alright.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

The more things change...

Well, in my case things aren't staying the same. Wow. On Nov. 16th we got word of a new posting in the Penetanguishene area. We've painted the house, renovated the bathrooms, and packed about 2/3rds of our life. We secured our financial stuff, and generally have complete chaos in the home. All the animals are distressed. I am distressed that the outside animals won't come in on moving day, and they'll get left behind - meaning friends will have to come and get them and bring them to us... I'm trying not to put that thought out as a fear to the universe, just something to plan around.

I'm going to miss this place in Varney and all the memories: llamas, alpacas, chickens, Jujube the donkey, Lucky and Mabel the horses... We arrived with Nonny, Zuna Piggles, Ethol Louise Carnivore, Spike and Pooky, and those last 3 have passed... We acquired Mr. Bill, Max the 1st (now deceased), Bob, Spunky, Maxine, Starr and Angel Piggles... I'll miss the pines, the sense of womb-like seclusion, and most of all, the spirit of this land.

Our new jobs put us in contact with a native population that requires our services, and we'll be paid. That's kind of novel, for us. Our new home has more space in the house and fewer stairs. What we lose in property we gain in proximity to the beaches and water - a big deal for Angeni. This is a 9-year cycle that ends a distinct chapter in our lives - Angeni's early childhood.

When I'm an old lady I'm pretty sure I'll review my life and remember this home as the one I loved the most.