Deciding to move, or not to move... deciding what lengths it will take to fix up the house to the standard we'd like to see it, whether we stay or go... Feeling the need to be in other places for the next phase of my life, but at the same time, being overwhelmed with the enormity of moving... Weighing the financial ramifications against the reality of life in another province - work availability vs. retirement, healthcare, achools and the art community all must factor into the puzzle. Realizing that a move of great distance necessitates an unloading of about 90% of what we own. Very little of what we have is worth the money to haul it across country.
I'm trying to "think outside the box"... is the lust to move a sign of boredom with my life? Some people create chaos in their lives to avoid the real issues. At least my marriage is the strongest it's ever been - so any "hidden" issues would have to be career-based. Angeni doesn't want to leave her school, which is typical for most young children. I know she would adapt, and her cardiopulmonary health would drastically improve. My ability to be outside, away from biting bugs, is a HUGE draw for the Gulf Islands - I'm a prisoner indoors most of the summer in midwestern Ontario because of mosquitoes, deer flies and black flies.
Who would hire a 49-year-old disabled Native artist/Interfaith minister? Not popular job qualifications. Brian turns 60 in a few weeks, so he'll remain self-employed as a carpenter. It will take a couple of years to completely re-do everything (floors, porch, drywall) here at the lodge, so I guess I'll get back to work, writing an autumn newsletter, and thinking about supper.
At least I'm not so old that I can't have wanderlust! :)