I Hate being sick...

It's been almost 3 years since I've had any kind of lung congestion/sinus infection/influenza sort of malady, but boy I'm making up for it this week... Esophagitis, laryingitis, sinusitis and more that I'm too polite to discuss in a blog. This on top of Angeni dealing with pneumonia - she just went back to school yesterday, but didn't quite last the whole day. Today she seems capable of making it alright - her capacity for healing has been amazing... Me, I'm another kettle of fish... For all the healing work I do for others, I wear myself out, and forget that I need to treat myself as carefully as I treat my patients... I don't, though.

Today is just going to be a quiet day... other than this blog, I'm simply going to have to rest - if not for me, for the fact that I have another full day of clients tomorrow, including a regression, so I need to get my voice back. Sigh.

Dogs, and the People who love them...

With 4 canine children, this house can be chaos... 3 huge dogs and 1 Yorky-poo... All these dogs are unique personalities. Starr a half-newf big goof is the most idiosynchratic of the brigade. He gets dad up as early as 4 AM to start the household chores - he's always done this. He barks when his inner clock says it's time to put the horses to bed, or when the school bus should be arriving, or when the stories aren't being read to Angeni in just the correct manner. Spunky is half-wolf, and the grand matriarch... any puppies brought here over the years have succumbed to her matronly discipline. As large-and-in-charge as she is normally, thundershowers can reduce her to a cowering mass of hysteria. Maxi-poo, Starr's sister just goes along for the ride... not alpha anything, Max is a mellow chick. Her pecadillos include chasing cats and chickens, and warming the couch for mommy. Her only meanness comes with we visit the vet... Poor old Pooky, at 1/15th the size of the others, holds her own. Squirrels and chippies are no match for the Pookster, at least in her 14-year-old mind. The original Max, a male, was killed 3 years ago this week, and I've never seen Brian weep like he did when he found that dog dead. Max was an older sibling to Starr and the current Max... Spike, the 3-legged Poodle suffered from a Spunky punishment, and died 3 years ago as well...

As much work as they are, we can't imagine life without them...

I visit people with dogs, or dogs who share their people with me... Brady, the most handsome dude in Burlington has gone so far as to be a couch potato with me, cuddle in a single bed, share my meals, and make me feel like the centre of his universe. However, he wants those rawhides or cookies he knows I have somewhere...

And Kia, whose medical mysteries have left me searching at great length for her care... I've never met Kia, but I know her human "Deb" very well...

Today I received a note from an old friend Kim to say her buddy, a giant newf named Sophie had to be put down recently, and how heartbroken she is... I hear ya, and sympathize Kim.

People who love dogs have a special connection in the universe as far as I'm concerned. The puppy people know unconditional love, know sacrifice, and know joy. I offer a prayer to those puppy people, and the canine friends who walk the medicine wheel with them. You do the 4-leggeds proud, and prove to me that the Creator really does understand Love.

Post-weekend blitz

Wow - what a change in the southern Ontario weather... like instant autumn!! We returned from the wedding extravaganza, and I'm still getting settled - 5 loads of laundry and one really sick kid later, I have some things to put away from the weekend. The wedding ended up being in a tent, but the sun broke long enough for the bride to get her photos at the beach, if not the service on the beach. Midewiwin Shaman did a superb job... It was a long ride home, but I'm feeling better about my pending trip to the same area for a quilt show in 3 weeks...

Prior to leaving on Friday we took my wee Yorkie-poo Pooky to the vet to have her chest assessed because of a cough... "old dog bronchitis" apparently... if she doesn't respond to the meds by this Friday, she'll be x-rayed for a lung tumour... not the news I wanted to hear an hour before leaving for Fort Erie. But, she seems to be responding to the meds, and this is a good thing. We'll know better by the end of the week. Pooky hs been my constant companion of 14 years - she still plays and eats well, but has slowed down a touch. I don't feel it is her time yet...

I'm sad that I never got to the beach this year. I am a person who needs the water. I hope this doesn't happen next year!!!

Complicated Nuptuals

I've never had a wedding to do that has been as complicated as the one pending this autumnal equinox weekend. Firstly, it is 5 hours away, and a beach wedding - I have trepidation about the weather, frankly. Indoor alternatives are really only tents for 250 people... the reception is in a tent as well... meaning if it is cold and damp, these guests will be basically outside something like 10 hours in the cold, maybe more... I'm really clear that lone Aboriginal minister or not, I won't do this again... too much time away from home, too much organizing for the week ahead, too many people's lives altered to accommodate this extravaganza... Friday is the big trip and the rehearsal on the beach... Saturday is the wedding. Saturday night the dinner (we won't stay for the reception) and we're staying over in a cottage because it is too late to drive all the way home... Home doesn't happen until Sunday early afternoon. In future brides and grooms can come here (but not with 250 people!!).

Anyway, it will be fun...

More naughtiness...

My husband, upon reading the previous entry, reminded me that I moon people from the porch, lift my shirt to hooter moon him in parking lots, make rude drawings and leave them under his pillow, tell ribald jokes, and watch the sex channel periodically... I've clipped little rubber chickens under my minister's gown, and generally behaved like a wicked young teen... Well, to that I say - "Girls just wanna have fun." With the stressful life we lead almost all the time, this is a bit of tension release. And, my playfulness should be a compliment because it says I'm still interested and like to flirt with him after all these years... My daughter is still horrified, so I guess there are some good behaviour modification things happening here. It works for me!!!

Naughty bits...

I threaten my husband all the time that I'm writing about his naughty bits in my blog. Initially I did that because I felt it would encourage him to read the blog... Also because I have written to my girlfriends about all things penile, including measurments, and the technically correct manner for taking such measurements. He caught me making special drawings several years ago, and emailing them.

I horrify my daughter by rolling down the car window and yelling "nice bum" to people walking down the street. I know they can't hear me, but she doesn't know that... Brian locks my window and rolls his eyes... Sometimes I yell about toenails, or testicles, or booty - that kind of thing. I'm teasing them both, because Angeni thinks we're going to get arrested, and she is just on the verge of being old enough that anything her parents do is embarrassing.

He says I'm a silly minister, but he knows I'm just teasing. Did I mention 9.75"? I think another hot spell is coming - whoo hoo!!!

Menopause

For once in my life I'm beginning to have periods of body warmth - this is something rare for someone with serious anaemia. My husband, who is much more active and physically vigorous is normally the one who "runs hot"... My metabolism is speeding up, and I've also started to lose weight. Maybe it's burning off literally - yippee. I don't lament this time. It is that passage that means no more children, but I grieved it when my daughter was born, because Brian got the big snip even before she was born. That was a panic move for a man of 52 with a grown daughter and a grandson older than his second daughter... We regret his choice not for the birth control issue, but because he developed post-operative complications which have taken years to solve.

It doesn't matter whether my hot mamma spells are from the herbs I take for my metabolism or from menopause - I'm warm at last. And if this is the worst of it, since I have no other symptoms, then bring it on!!

Changes

Deciding to move, or not to move... deciding what lengths it will take to fix up the house to the standard we'd like to see it, whether we stay or go... Feeling the need to be in other places for the next phase of my life, but at the same time, being overwhelmed with the enormity of moving... Weighing the financial ramifications against the reality of life in another province - work availability vs. retirement, healthcare, achools and the art community all must factor into the puzzle. Realizing that a move of great distance necessitates an unloading of about 90% of what we own. Very little of what we have is worth the money to haul it across country.

I'm trying to "think outside the box"... is the lust to move a sign of boredom with my life? Some people create chaos in their lives to avoid the real issues. At least my marriage is the strongest it's ever been - so any "hidden" issues would have to be career-based. Angeni doesn't want to leave her school, which is typical for most young children. I know she would adapt, and her cardiopulmonary health would drastically improve. My ability to be outside, away from biting bugs, is a HUGE draw for the Gulf Islands - I'm a prisoner indoors most of the summer in midwestern Ontario because of mosquitoes, deer flies and black flies.

Who would hire a 49-year-old disabled Native artist/Interfaith minister? Not popular job qualifications. Brian turns 60 in a few weeks, so he'll remain self-employed as a carpenter. It will take a couple of years to completely re-do everything (floors, porch, drywall) here at the lodge, so I guess I'll get back to work, writing an autumn newsletter, and thinking about supper.

At least I'm not so old that I can't have wanderlust! :)

Insidious caffeine

It amazes me how many products contain caffeine. We all know about the cola thing, but apparently people underestimate the calories and caffeine content of their favourite colas... Coffee and tea have really wild variants when it comes to caffeine amounts - there is no such thing as an "average" caffeine content, when some decaf lattes contain more caffeine than your standard home-brewed carafe of coffee. Tea varies wildly - it surprised me that some herbal teas contain caffeine, and old favourites like Chai tea can have quite a lot of the dreaded caff... Finally, over-the-counter medications can contain horrible amounts of caffeine. Acetaminophen #1 is an example of a partially-regulated pain reliever that contains just a little caff which enhances the painkilling properties of that medicine. One tablet isn't a problem, but 3 tablets taken 2 or 3 doses in a day, on top of coffee can be quite nerve-wracking. It all adds up in the course of a day. It is my understanding the caffeine accumulates, and peaks in the bloodstream 6 hours after it is consumed.

A coffee after dinner, can mean floor pacing at midnight.

Mercifully this is a household that doesn't consume colas, but we do have coffee and tea, and I occasionally need acetaminophen #1. Keeping the decaf coffee down to one cup in the morning, and maybe a cup of darjeeling tea in the afternoon still seems to be too much. I've noticed with people who have gone off caffeine, their tolerance level is "zero" - even the slightest amount of caff sends them into a sleepless psychotic rant. For the little bit of caff I consume, I have an inordinate number of sleepless nights. It's come to the point of a showdown, I guess - to sleep, or not to sleep, that is the lifestyle question. If I have an especially pain-heavy night, I'm not going to sleep whether I've consumed caffeine or not.

It becomes a larger picture issue of lifestyle, addiction, pain management and treasured social interaction. To Tim's or not to Tim's, that is the REAL question... T'would be nobler to go to Tims and drink V8 juice, and increase the fruits and veggies in my day, to be sure. Alas poor Starbucks, I kmew him well... (Sorry William Shakespeare.)

I went without caffeine for most of yesterday, until I made a cup of tea... then awake at 3:00 AM, letting dogs out, cats in/out and lamenting my computer network woes, I was very cranky. I realized that I had taken some of the Acet#1's - just 3 - spread through the day. That must have been it... Today I am a lumpy bit of grumpiness, managing the pain of fibromyalgia (which is cyclical) with heat and massage. It will be plain Tylenol only for me...

I don't drink anymore, don't smoke and now have to do without coffee - what will be next? Sex?

Things that evoke strong emotions in me...

Screaming for 15 muinutes at a bank "robot" on the phone over a penny interest - just because the bank was wrong... and winning the argument (to the detriment of my blood pressure)...

I'm so unused to screaming, that for an hour after, I had to head to town and buy groceries... I get excited over good produce...

My newf dog going out to the recycling box at the side of the road and fetching me an empty water bottle - bless his heart, he thought mommy lost it, I guess...

Finding out I was accepted to teach at a festival in Toronto...

Fondling a really nice bolt of fabric, when I should have been buying those groceries...

Fondling my husband's manly bicep in the car, when I should have been letting him focus on the road... made me feel 17 again...

Hearing my daughter say she still believes in Santa, even when some of the other kids dismiss the jolly one...

Knowing that tomorrow the temperature soars to 27 degrees (C) - even if it is forecast for just one day...

Seeing newborn baby chicks for the first time, their feet sticking out from under mother hen's wings, knowing how viciously she protects them - with her life!

Hearing that a woman read a new book about soul retrieval, and within a day, found my name on an article I wrote for an old health magazine from 2000. She found me, and we've connected and she's on her path.... wow, what a universe!

An amazing sunrise, but even more profoundly, a brilliant sunset...

First Day of School

For once, I was the least tense of all the members of this household, on this, the first day of school... Angeni was overtired and crabby, while Brian was facing a new carpentry/construction contract that requires him to be on very unstable scaffolding. Heights are not his thing (nor mine for that matter). They did their morning routine thing, and I slept in... I functioned like a Beaver Cleaver's mother - no worries except to do laundry, run the dishwasher and prepare a meal. My background business work wasn't going anywhere fast, so I didn't sweat it at all. Well, I did sweat, but because I had an extensive period of fever and gastric distress reminiscent of the 'flu. That was a running experience all weekend (literally and figuratively). Despite feeling ill, it was indeed a wonderful day...

I do have a lot to do this month - finish a portfolio, prepare for a wedding near Fort Erie, and prep a quilt trunk show/class in Fonthill for October. All this, with grant applications and a trip to Toronto to drop off the portfolio and pick up my art objects in Yorkville (I need them for the show in October). I'd love a couple days at a friend's cottage, but I'm not sure that will happen this fall...

Angeni didn't get in with the teacher she was expecting, but instead has a teacher with a grade 3/4 split. She's done a split class for grade 1 and I think that pushed her a little. Angeni is a bright child and needs the additional stimulation.

Everyone is asleep, except me... being Barbara Billingsley for a day was wonderful, but I dare say tomorrow is another day and I'll be back with my ministerial collar and shaman's robe.

Labour Day weekend

We are labouring, under the weight of Ernesto, and a season hurtling to an untimely end. It is unseasonably cold here for the first days of September, and as wonderful as it was to have almost no humidity in August, it was significantly cooler than usual. This was not a summer for camping, or beach combing.

I am labouring with a middle ear, sinus thing happening... not good. It isn't the worst version of this kind of illness I've had, but it puts a damper (in different respects from Ernesto) on this wet weekend. After an intense work week this family is a lot stressed, unwell, sore, bruised and cranky.

However, I count my blessings that we are in the free world. Ernesto's wrath devastated a lot of people with the flooding yesterday in the Carolinas... for us it is merely a windy, rainy weekend.

Angeni made it to a local fall fair today and seemed to have fun... tomorrow she goes to a friend's birthday party. For her, the weather is not an issue - she's having fun. And we had some baby chicks born earlier this weekend... here's hoping they survive in this weather shift. Brian is contemplating some rooster stew, as he fears our poultry population is now too high. Angeni would be horrified, so we'll discreetly take the randy rooster up to the farmer's market in Keady and make sure he finds a new home. We have enough pitter patter of neo-raptor toenails in the barn.

Akthough officially summer is yet another 3 weeks long, it feels over. Sigh.