Alpha Female

I don't care who says otherwise, I AM alpha female... when Spunky (all 112 pounds of her) steals 7-lb Pooky's tiny rawhide boney, Alpha Mommy is the one who retrieves it, eliciting an obedience that my daughter could well emulate (if she knows what's good for her...)... I do not have to resort to peeing on the lawn to assert myself, either. It is hilarious whenever poor Pooky goes out for a whiz, Spunky follows her around, peeing on the spot where Pook has just gone - sometimes 4 or 5 spots later - no little dogs will out-pee Spunky. Occasionally, Pook stands by, watching and follows Spunk, and sneaks in a final pee on the last place Spunky has anointed... Hilarious.

Maxine, well down on this totem pole of seniority, displays her moment of superiority when she decides that Starr is too close to Mommy. This means some major snarling, snapping and jockeying for position. Spunky can push herself between Max and Alpha Male, but seldom bothers with me... Spunky did take out Spike unfortunately, in a battle over a visiting female friend's attention. Spunky has since shown a penchant for poodle hatred - unfortunately targeting the neighbour's dog as well... Occasionally Spunk tries to push Pooky off her spot on the footstool, whenever we have visitors. Several liberal reprimands, and Spunky remembers her place.

Angeni, at the ripe old age of 8, is attempting to climb the power pole. At 4 and 5, most kids are at the "you are not the boss of me stage", and our daughter was no exception. Thankfully we got through that without use of medieval restraints or shackles. To her credit she's a quiet delightful tweeny, and so far, is not a problem - but the signs are there. She'll beg to do anything around the house except clean her room. Alpha females don't bribe (right?) so we have some serious negotiations, I mean discussions, about how to do the right thing. Or else. She wouldn't want me to pee on her bedroom floor, now would she?

And then we have cats… I am ALPHA KAT. Really. No possible misinterpretation of my monarchy. Nonny, who resembles Monty Python’s version of the village idiot, has no claim to any hierarchical position. Nonster purrs to the beat of her own drumming, oblivious to the machinations of other felines… She has the sweetest disposition of any cat I’ve ever met… Then Zuna Piggles, who is really second in line to Nonny by age, is the real beta Kat, keeping the unruly and despised male cats in their rightful places. The 3 males are way down that pole… To them I’m alpha mommy and I’m loved.

As for the equine kingdom – Jujube loves me, and knows I’m alpha something. Lucky tolerates my presence because I usually carry bribery in the form of carrots or apples. My hair, being tightly coiled in a bun is also highly sniffable, because you never know if that thing on my head is a snake or an apple. Mabel doesn’t take any shi*t from anyone or anything – she puts up with alpha male Brian because he rules the feed bucket. Like me, she is likely near menopause, so we have our grouchy days… I’m not alpha anything to Mabel, I dare concede, but the barn kingdom is beneath me, so I leave that to Brian.

After a lengthy client-filled Saturday, we endeavoured to have a family day together on Sunday... It was so beautiful outdoors. At one point the thermometer read 28 degrees Celsius - we had the air conditioner on in the van. It was bright, people seemed happy and the Hanover park was filled with sun worshippers. I was surprised to see standing water in the park, but that didn't deter visitors there.

While shopping I even broke down and got Angeni a Game Boy Advance game about Zelda. It was not bedroom cleaning bribery... really... it's because Zelda is a warrior princess, alpha female like Marg Delahunty or Wonder Woman, or well... me. Yes, I am the Viscountess of Varney. Alpha Female extraordinaire, lover of fine weather... So we did some needed shopping, drove the main street of Neustadt because I deemed it necessary, and bought grass seed... Brian and Angeni sowed some of that last evening, in advance of the rains today.

With all the alpha female peeing on the lawn, we gotta have fresh grass.

The Crystal Skull

We received an email from an old friend, Jim Honey, who used to be the companion to Anna Mitchell-Hedges. Anna died this week, at the age of 100, still managing in her own home. I haven't got all the details, but she was still going, and still feisty, living with a different companion. She held onto the skull for over 90 years....

Several times Jim brought Anna to our house in Guelph, along with the skull, books and a slide show. She talked about her journeys into the jungles of Belize, with her adopted father... The highlight for us was holding and channeling with the skull. I always got quite a buzz from the dear thing. I remember sitting on the livingroom floor, holding it, and channeling for the assembled group.

I also remember, having just moved into the Wolverton house, Jim brought a Belize shaman by the name of Leonardo Acal. We weren't in the house a week so things were rushed to prepare for our esteemed guests... People hung off the rafters, coming down the stairway into the main room, cramming to hear them speak. Leonardo brought this huge cedar bass which he played for us. It was our 1st wedding anniversary, and what better way to celebrate than a shaman and a crystal skull!!!

In recent years I've seen programmes suggesting the skull recovery story was a hoax. A fellow at a museum in England had the original receipt naming Mr. Mitchell-Hedges as the purchaser of the skull for 400 pounds... If that is true, the whole story about him letting Anna down on a rope into the rubble of a temple to retrieve the skull (and later the articulated jaw) were pure fantasy. Yet Anna, for whatever reasons, held onto her story... I could go into the dreamtime and ask the ancestors for "the truth", but I never have... I don't care if Anna needed a story to hold onto, to make her life dramatic. Frankly, the skull was, and is, an incredible entity. I fear it is lost to us now, for it will likely be put in a museum under lock, key, glass and infra-red light alarm.

I'm honoured to have had the chance to meet Anna, hold the skull many times, and know that our ancestors who carved it were marvelously skilled, connected beings. Rest in peace, Anna.

Virginia

It's been 4 days since the Virginia Tech massacre... I'm still coming to terms with the enormity of the hatred expressed at innocent people. One writer commented that the laws prevented Mr. Cho Seung-Hui from being forced to take medications or treated into a mental health institution - it amounts to his protected civil liberties. Even his school records, including grades, are being withheld from his parents for privacy reasons. The man is dead, for heaven's sake. President Bush, couldn't stay out of the mess. His opening line "Although I support an individual's right to bear arms, I am saddened at... " - I paraphrase, but he couldn't keep the politics out of his statements. I was keenly aware of the juxtaposition when a Japanese mayor - only the 4th person in office to be killed since 1945 - was gunned down by a mobster this week. Japan is so anti-gun that it is, I believe, a life prison sentence to be caught with one... whether you ever use it or not.

The mentally ill do not have the right to bear arms. While I agree that we must uphold freedom of speech and most civil liberties, the right for anyone to bear arms cannot and must not be one of them. Registered firearms for hunters should only be licensed with proof that the holder has no criminal record, and has passed a mental health exam. In that light, MY civil liberties are less likely to be taken away by someone with psychotic tendencies who fancies themselves a heroic figure. Dead is dead.

Canada has similar problems - a man named Dobson, egging for full parole after a 25 year murder sentence (so-called life) is allowed to read victim impact statements from the family 30 days before his parole hearing. The family doesn't get the reciprocal chance - they wait for his rebuttal at the actual hearing. Now, every 2 years, he is allowed to drag everyone through this process again. He savagely beat, raped, sodomized and mutilated a teenaged girl, then had the nerve to phone the family and ask "How do you like me now?"

I don't like using my blog as a political forum, but I'm venting. The pall of hurt the victims' families are bearing is horrific - it casts a psychic veil over the world. I'm disturbed at the number of "copycat" crimes that surfaced as the week progressed. It isn't safe for our kids to go to school anymore. Mr. Cho Seung-Hui was a playground bully of the worst, most evil, kind....

The sun is shining, may we all have a better week. Blessings.

Here Among the Cats...

Somewhere on the second concession, every time we pass by, I ask Brian the same question... this has gone on for years... He knows its coming...
"Honey, can we stop at the Basler's and get a kitten today?"
With a deep gulp, the colour drains from his face, and we get one of the following answers:
"Why not 3 or 4 more cats?"
"What about a couple more dogs too - the house isn't chewed up enough yet."
"Just shoot me now..."
"They're not home today, so we can't stop..." Psychically he somehow knows they're not home, and the speedometer hits 100 km/hr at this point.
I calmly remind him that Ethol indicated she would reincarnate, and that if she's sitting there in that Basler barn, waiting for us, she's going to be really pissed off.
"I don't care," he always says, then waxes philosophical with something like "Ethol hated Starr anyway, so why put her though that again."
Or he says something else, of a similar vein, while he rolls down the window trying not to hyperventilate. I know we won't get any more animals - it's just a pleasurable moment of sadism.

Speaking of animals, Pooky has bounced back to a place I never expected to see... today she walked with Brian and Spunky down to the corner where the school bus stops with Angeni... I don't think she's ever done that... Pook is eating and doing all those necessary bodily functions that had failed her for a few days. One or two more IV boluses this week, and she should be completely out of the woods, so to speak. I marvel at the Creator's gift of a little more time with my old friend.

We're working on setting a date for summer solstice - possibly to coincide with our shamanic gathering in June. It makes sense to combine the two, allowing the communities to integrate and work together. We'll run this by the group and settle on a date in the next few days. Once again, we'll strategize about having an inipi/sweatlodge.

I'm running into some boundary issues with people - it comes down, I believe, to assumptions about working in the home. Being at home doesn't mean I'm working 24/7. We chose not to have "office space" in some outside venue because that's not the aboriginal way of doing things, and the overhead costs would have to be passed on through our fee structure. If we had an office, there would be a separate telephone, and the answering machine would kick in at 5 PM - there would be no access to us when the work day ended.

Somehow, though, a few people feel that it's okay to call us after 9 PM for appointments, or to email asking my thoughts on treatment options, suggestions, opinions and more... This is a balancing act because, frankly, I don't have a secretary, and every situation calls for unique interpretation - that takes time. When advice and healing are what I do for a living, it isn't reasonable to assume I am willing to sit here answering questions and doing research for free. If the situation is serious enough to contact me, assume that the prudent thing to do is make an appointment and support the process. The boundary problems are in part a reason for us to be looking at jobs elsewhere.... If you're calling for an appointment, do so before 6 PM please, or better yet - email. Evening time is family time, and that is a boundary we're going to get really sticky about, in weeks to come. Weekends are also for family, unless otherwise posted.... Emails asking for information will be returned with the suggestion that a time be booked for consultation. No one will honour boundaries unless we do...

The weather finally improves again this week, and this is a great feeling - the laundry goes back outside again. Enough for now... here among the cats.

What a difference a week makes...

Unfortunately it is still snowing - it's the middle of April and the fields are white again... snowed the day before yesterday and although it melted yesterday, the flakes are back again. I think the whole month of April will be flaky... in more ways than one.

Pooky has come out of her renal failure - but for the Grace of the Creator, and some intervention on our part, she is eating, drinking, eliminating and even playing again!!! This was a dog who the vet wanted to euthanize a week ago today. We're still giving her some IV fluids subcutaneously every other day, to lower her urea levels, but otherwise, things have returned to her regular state of health. Clearly this isn't a total cure - Pooky is 14+ years and has terrible scarring in her lungs - but she is comfortable and much more normal. I am thankful to the Creator for this reprieve, however long or short.

On this Friday morning Brian is out working for a neighbour, fencing pastures for the arrival of some cattle. At 60, Brian is the most physically fit he has ever been in his life - the farming has been good for him. I don't envy the slogging through the bush today, though. He is installing electric fence wire, having already erected T-posts. Handling wire in wet weather is tricky.

I'm still making overtures into the working world, and things are moving along in a positive way - for now it looks like a part-time thing, which will allow me to still keep the lodge here and carry on with my practice. Anything that allows me to care for my family's needs, and keep my home, I'm prepared to do, and the bonus is I don't have to move away.

Sleepy Easter Sunday

It's so rare for Brian and I to have a Sunday off working to be together as a family that it seems strange... Pooky continues to cling to life, and she and I have spent the last 3 nights together on the couch... I'm tired, and grieving.

Morton the Easter Bunny of Normanby township visited Angeni this morning, after Barney, the bunny of Varney dropped off some goodies in Durham for her, while she visited a friend. Earlier this week Murray the bunny, substituting for the Tooth Fairy (on vacation as she was in the Caymen Islands) had visited to do the tooney/tooth switch-off. Those rabbits will be tired today...

Blessings to everyone of the Christian faith on this special day.

I've been dreading this day...

Just got the phonecall from my vet to say my little dog Pooky is in renal failure and probably won't last the weekend... I've dreaded this beyond anything I can think of, short of losing my husband or my child... Brian is with Pooky at the vet because I have Angeni home and food in the oven, so the vet is giving her a bolus of subcutaneous fluid and hopefully she'll start peeing again. Pooky has been with me so much longer than could have been expected with her lung problems, that I have been blessed with her longevity... Easter weekend - how tragic.

Wet and dull, dull and wet...

Spring has returned to "late winter" conditions here in Varney... after 2 glorious weeks of May-like weather, we're back to flurries pending over the next few days. We have a house clearing, blessing and ghost filming to do on Friday and flurries aren't optimal conditions for filming outside, or recording EVPs if it is windy... Oh well, it will be what it will be, frankly... it's just my daffodils and violas are chilly.

Plantar fasciitis has reared it's ugly head, in my foot, again. This is the worst, and most painful it's ever manifested. I've been on my feet a lot this week but today I defer to ice packs and elevating my feet on the footstool. I cringe at how bad the house gets to look even with just one day of relaxing the cleaning mode. It's hard to justify resting today when I'll have at least twice as much to do tomorrow... I hope however, that I can get some relief, even just for today - I have to be on my best for Friday.

I've had some interesting feedback about the possibility of closing the aboriginal healing practice. Most people are understanding, a couple are panicked and many are relieved that I'm not giving up my duties as a minister... I would never do that unless I was physically or mentally unable to perform my duties. A few people can't understand why I won't do all the jobs - now THAT would be physically impossible for me, frankly, and if I had the stamina, I couldn't do that to my daughter. Angeni does need some mommy time. I don't want to give up my practice, but without enough income I have to move on. It will play out as the Creator wishes it to...

I should be going out for a few hours with a friend today, just for some "me" time, but I think I'll pass... my foot is demanding my attention. Have a blessed rest of the week!!

How things change...

Time is supposed to show us that while things change, they also stay the same... I've never entirely accepted that credo... I don't believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder, either. My experience is that "out of sight is out of mind". However, with these thoughts in mind, I went to my sister's place - i haven't seen her in over 3 years. We emailed a bit the last few months, but nothing deep... As we age I appreciate how time is changing us physically (not necessarily for the better). but emotionally has healed from the childhood we shared. Intellectually and spiritually we've found the paths we need to follow in this life, and they are very different... but as long as that heart connection can be massaged, we should be able to go graciously into old age with that sisterly bond somewhat intact... we'll never be really close, but we can share some things, and I think we've proven that to each other... Time and circumstance can't change what we went through, but we can do our best to stay bonded...

Speaking of change, our lives and our practice are evolving with each season that passes... Sooner than later what we do will end, and it will be with some bittersweet awareness that like fashion and music, spirituality has cycles of popularity. Ending a practice of nearly 30 years, without the normal passage of retirement is very telling - we are forced back into the private sector just to make ends meet. Spiritual leaders aren't valued anymore, it seems. I shouldn't feel bad about myself when whole institutions like the Anglican church are near bankruptcy. This generation doesn't tithe, nor is there the sense of needing the spiritual body as a community pillar. Churches, as institutions, have caused some of these problems - sexual predation and residential school abuses are well-known examples of the horrors that have brought down peoples' respect for church, as a sacred body to be trusted. Church should end, if it no longer serves the needs of a community. So I revert to a semi-retired minister, working in the larger community doing something else...

Sad, really...

Wow - beautiful weather!!!

I am enjoying this lovely weather to the max! I hung out my first official load of laundry for the season - it is so fresh smelling. No mosquitoes yet, but we've got crocuses and daffodils coming up and I'm thrilled. This is fully a month ahead of previous years. When an elder had the trailer installed at the barn 2 years ago, there was more snow than there is now, and the weather was very cold - and this was the end of April. Global warming aside, the smiling faces I see around town are happy for this early spring. Our furnace is off!! My cabin fever will dry up and blow away now...

Back in January I was filmed by the United Church for a multifaith program to be aired around Easter. This Lenten Series for the United Church of Canada is on at 6 PM, Sunday evenings, on Vision Television... I didn't know it had started until a friend called after she saw the second episode (three remain). We'll hopefully have a copy of the video series shortly to view here at Moonstar...

Pooky has had a spring shave this afternoon, and looks pretty nifty. She was feeling the heat, poor thing. Her cough is quite a bit worse, so we switched her meds on the weekend - I don't think she is coping with them very well, what with some vomiting yesterday and diarrhea today. Hopefully we can reduce the dose on Friday, allowing her guts to settle...

Midewiwin gathered recently, and we've got a neat house blessing and clearing to do near Campbellville. In years past we've traversed the fields, photographing and recording EVP's along the old trail of the First Nations peoples who followed the Guelph Line north, to summer hunting grounds. This is a trail through and to the escarpment. Originally I had only a couple of people to help, now most of the group is involved - we should look quite a sight in our traditional aboriginal garb, wandering the sideroads with cameras...

Daughter is home, dinner needs doing... and laundry to remember!!!

Who Shot my Paw?

I always know for sure - really and truly - when it is spring. Be damned equinox, the calendar or sunny days... it is spring when there are wet, muddy footprints everywhere in my house. The ground has thawed enough for the mud to stick to those paws, and that's a lot of paws in this house... 36 to be exact. Brian and I try to do the environmentally sensitive thing and use microfibre mops - no cleaners - just a bit of soap. However, when you've completely used up every microfibre mop head, and most of the rags, I have to ask "Is this extra load of laundry environmentally sensitive?"

It may be still just zero degrees, snow banks waist high, windy and raining for the 3rd day, but it is spring. Really. Just come look at my floors...

Monopolies

Monopolies scare me... be it in the insurance or banking industry, telephones and especially computers... Several times this past week, we've lost access to Google. Who cares? We do - because we have websites with Google ads on them, and they won't load when Google is down. The first time it happened, the problem righted itself within 24 hours... I can live with that. However, when it happened a few days ago for 48 hours, we began calling our internet service provider to see if they were getting similar complaints.... They suggested to check the DNS numbers... We reverted to the old numbers and voilà - problem solved. How did these numbers get changed you might ask? Brian had switched to an open server source, BUT it was actually in part Microsoft. They do automatic updates on our system and they don't like other browsers... they don't like other email programs... they don't like anything Linux or open source. The update reverted most of my personal settings - so much so that I couldn't access my Blogger account. So this has been several days without an update.

It's also a slice of the proprietary pie - like when Sony did Betamax to everyone else's VCR... now it's happening in DVD formats... I'm not tech savvy enough to spit out the all format rivalries, but I know for the consumer this kind of one-upmanship, king-of-the-hill bravado makes people leery of investing in technology. I'm all for competition - but I ask the companies pick a format and let the fair market jousting happen after that is done.

So much for this rant... now I'll go onto MySpace and rant there... next entry should be a continuation of the issues around soul retrieval and preparation. Can you tell I've just come back from 4 hours of dental work?

Soul Retrieval

Many years ago Brian came to me as a patient, having become aware of something called "soul retrieval". He purchased a book by Sandra Ingerman, read it, and realized this isn't something you do for yourself. He was directed to me by someone in another town, booked an appointment, and we started a very long journey together. The man who blossomed from the sick, unhappy, depressed being became someone I saw with new eyes, and eventually married. Soul retrieval is one of our most sacred and significant life journeys, not to be done without great thought, and like an athlete, preparation. To that end, I share with you some material shared with me by a person named Sage (who comes by her name honestly):

Shamanic healing works with the concept that emotional and physical illness are the same. Our soul is our life force or vitality. Anything can cause soul loss. It might be the loss of a loved one, sexual, physical or emotional abuse, surgery, accidents, and more. At times of trauma, part of us goes away. This is good and protective. However, it does not always find its way back.

Symptoms of soul loss include dissociation, a feeling of watching your life like a movie rather than as a participant, chronic depression, suicidal feelings, post traumatic stress disorder, immune system deficiency, inability to get over a loss, and having an unnatural connection with a person.

Where do the soul parts go? Into non-ordinary reality. The soul parts might be lost and unable to return. They may be unwilling to return because they don't know the abuse has stopped. They may have been stolen and are still held by the thief. This is a type of psychic vampirism and may contribute to co-dependency. It is often a dysfunction passed down in families.

Traditionally, the support of the community was an important aspect of soul retrieval. Patients might have been told, "Your children want you to come back, your brothers and sisters want you to come back, your neighbours and kinsmen want you to come back, your horses want you to come back...." It is for this reason, the support and power of someone working on our behalf, that we do not generally do our own soul retrievals.

In soul retrieval, the healing results depend upon the commitment of the client. Self-healing comes after the soul retrieval. Soul parts sometimes come back bringing memories and emotions. They usually bring energy with them, sometimes in amazing amounts. One has more power following soul retrieval.

PREPARATION AND INTEGRATION
It is helpful to reflect on what is not working in your life and to notice patterns of recreating the same trauma. Let go of labels about this. No alcohol is to be consumed for twenty-four hours before and after a soul retrieval. The night before your soul retrieval, ask for a dream to help in receiving your soul.

Following your soul retrieval, leave time for yourself. Welcome your soul parts back. The effects are unpredictable. Allow yourself about two weeks for the effects to settle in. You might find during this time you need to make changes that are life-supporting.

Here are three journeys to do on your own following your soul retrieval:

1. Does the soul part have anything else to tell me about why it left?

2. How will the soul part help? What gifts, talents, or resources does it bring?

3. What changes do I need to make in my life that would make the soul parts feel supported in being back home?

Eventually you will want to feel fully integrated and no longer aware of the separate nature of the soul parts that were returned. The point is to welcome them home and integrate them. You don't want to stay too long in a place where you continually notice your six year old soul part is feeling shy, your twelve year old is angry, and the adult you is eager, to give a simple example. However, you may find your six year old knows how to trust and your twelve year old needs creative expression, for instance, and that becomes a part of you.

Bring a notebook with you to record the details of your healing and your feelings in the moment. Be sure you have the phone number of your soul retriever so you may call if questions come up.

Final journey: Now that you have your soul parts back and you have done your work of welcoming and integrating them, there is one more step that is good to do. This is to see if you have soul parts of anyone else you may be holding on to - accidentally, of course! - and need to return. There is no guilt or blame here, have fun with this journey. You may find you are hanging on to bits of family, friends, ex-spouses, or lovers. Or, you may discover "Velcro souls" that another has stuck onto you. Journey to the helping spirit that you are most comfortable with and ask. If you do have soul parts to return or Velcro souls to pull off and send back, ask for a ritual to accomplish this. Do the ritual. You might want to partner with another and serve as witness to each other's rituals.

Thanks and gratitude to Sandra Ingerman.

All My Relations.

More on this journey in a later entry....

The Ides of March

Seems like just yesterday it was my birthday, and now it's the middle of March... the weather has been stunningly beautiful, and my tired spirit welcomes spring...

Thanks to Aunt Judy and Uncle Sam, Pooky is sporting a jaunty new winter jacket and spring hoodie... completed by a dashing new turquoise collar with her name spelled in Swarovsky crystals... Very much like Liz Taylor, minus the lovely perfume smell... Pook has always liked wearing sweaters, and in her geriatric years seems cold all the time. This is quite a wonderful comfort measure.

Although it's only Thursday, it seems like it should be the end of the week... We took Angeni into Orangeville to rendezvous with her godmother Kaaren, and intended to be back home by 3:30. Well, at that time we were in the Kia dealership getting a new headlight, so being significantly delayed we grabbed some supper, groceries and landed home this evening. Brian got a mere cursory whiff of his beloved Home Depot. That's him sighing now... All the dogs were near panicked that we were away over 6 hours. The various and sundry cats were curious about this as well, but returned to normal once the can opener went off... the universal cat food signal. We've done dishes, put the laundry in the dryer, started the wood stove and settled in for a quiet night - I'm pooped. And yet, tomorrow we have clients all day, and the house to clean and prep for the autumnal equinox...

Life is good, and so is Pizza Hut...

Wonderful Weather

Considering we've only had snow for about 7 weeks, this melt is welcome... the ground absorbs the snow faster because there was no old snow base which needed to thaw first... It has been an easy melt-off. Brian tapped 2 maple trees for sweet water and we're managing about 4 litres a day from the trees... the temps are supposed to drop again in the next day or so, meaning the sap flow will stop. We'll have enough for a good cleansing tonic.

Saturday afternoon at 2 PM we have our annual spring equinox gathering. It is a feast day, so everyone attending is asked to bring potluck, and confirm with us that you're coming - in this way, if there is freezing rain or other bad weather, we can notify everyone. Right now it looks like a gathering of about 16 to 20 people which is really nice...

Spring is always difficult for dental issues - as a species we're genetically hard-wired to certain physiological truths, and if there are going to be dental problems, spring is a good bet for that pain and discomfort... For me, I broke a lower molar last fall, and over the weekend broke a chip off the molar above it - 2 teeth, same side, deeply annoying. We don't have any sort of dental coverage, so when I spoke to the dentist, this is going to be a doozy bill with at least 3 visits. Not good timing for us financially, but a fact of life.

Anyway, Angeni is heading off tomorrow for 2 nights with her godmother Kaaren, in Toronto. Two weeks of room cleaning was required to get this privilege - Angeni was not impressed. As bright, well behaved and gifted as she is, slovenliness is her Achilles heel. However, Dad stepped in, moved some shelving, removed some furniture, and opened the space up. It is, for a few days at least, clean and tidy. We'll see how long this lasts.

I've applied for a job posting with the government for an Elder. I'm hoping this works out... If it does, the only thing we'll be able to continue with for the next year is Midewiwin. I will miss our practice, but the financial ease will be helpful. Both Brian and I left regular corporate jobs to do this work, and our income was shredded by this choice - I don't regret it, but at the same time I don't want to lose our home, by being forced to sell. We're suffering financially right now....

Gotta head in to Durham - be comfy and frolic in this lovely weather!!!

Musicians I miss...

There are some classic voices from the 60's - 80's that I really miss, and wish could record again - people like Marilyn McCoo (most known from the 5th Dimension), Gary Puckett, the late Laura Nyro, the late Eva Cassidy, Colin Blunstone (best known as lead singer of the Zombies), even Van Morrison... All these people are in their sixties, if still alive, and I miss them... I miss Diana Ross from the years when she was daring. Dusty Springfield was a major trailblazer and is now deceased - and it is really sad how many of these women I mentioned died so young!!! I don't miss Tom Jones - he had little variety and seemed to only be able to emote "intensity"... a great voice but not my style... I'm sure I'll edit this time and again as my old faves spring to mind...

Slowly the temperatures are moving into a spring-like destination. Apparently by Sunday it will be +7 degrees and plus temps overnight - I welcome that. It has been hard to shift my thinking toward having a spring equinox gathering when it is -23 outside. I won't miss the snow and wind.

I received a CD of a speech by the Dalai Lama - I'm looking forward to hearing what he has to say this afternoon. Brian is away being carpenter guy, so I'm puttering with housework and laundry. I hope Brian is home soon - we're nearly out of wood for the fireplace.

I was surprised that Canada is willingly following the lead of the US in switching daylight savings time ahead on the weekend - that's several weeks ahead of schedule. Supposedly this is an energy saving measure, but I'm not so sure... we actually have a whole weekend off, so I'm going to try and get together with my sister. Her birthday was in February and mine last week, and we've been trying to get a weekend together for over a month - finally I think it might happen. We have some celebrating to do... and lots of years to make up for...

Manic March

March certainly roared in like a lion - I'm hoping Wiarton Willie is correct that spring comes early. We posted an overnight temperature of -23 with wind chills of close to -40. This isn't Nunavut!!! Weird weather doesn't help the global warming camp, when taken in isolated situations. If we look at the fact that there was no real winter snow or temperatures until the 3rd week of January, to have winter gone by the 3rd week of March would be quite something - a record - and a nod to the global warming advisors. Angeni missed Friday, Monday and today - I hope she goes to school the remaining 3 days this week because she is off next week for March break!!! Hopefully these are the last of the school days lost to bad weather this year.

The barometric pressure fluctuations are not doing much for my dizziness - that had cleared up for about a week and has suddenly returned like bad gas - you never know when it will hit. These bouts are related in inner ear infections and sinus problems, and I'm aware I have both ... I'm ready for them to go away now...

Brian will be sending out messages for spring equinox feasting and celebration. I hope the weather has cleared enough that we don't have to cancel it... it's hard to have a spring equinox in mid-April because of bad weather...

Keep cozy... Kathryn

Birthday Blitz

So the big weekend begins to wind down... Friday (the actual birthday) was quiet because we had a horrific snow, ice and windstorm raging for 36 hours, meaning Angeni was home... She decided to enter puberty on Friday - it was a bit tense...

All in all a lovely weekend... nice cards, a few fine phone calls, and lunch with an old friend whose birthday was yesterday. Given the weather, I'm glad I didn't travel to Toronto after all...

Magazines

I'm not one for magazines much... a friend gave me a recent edition of Chatelaine which left me feeling like I had ADHD or similar - the busy-ness of the pages and lack of depth to the articles left me wanting for something different. When advertisers are supporting certain products discussed in articles, I fail to see the objectivity of that article - like when I wrote for a national magazine the length of the article was severely cropped to make room for the supporting ads, unless of course, I wanted to buy space for the article - what? No way...

So when Angeni comes home with school programs for magazine sales, I cringe... I hate this form of school support at the best of times... pennies from every carton of lunch milk, bits from every pizza slice sold, and could we just donate stuff for the yard and bake sales? How about a poinsettia? I digress, so back to the magazines...

I do have my Canadian Quilters Quarterly, and the doll artist quarterly which come because I am a member of each organization. For the last 3 years my friend Phil has gifted me a subscription to "Threads" magazine, because I sew - all very nice. But, I've been looking for some others:

"Canadian Oriental Pig Decorating"

"Ontario Pork and Fly"

"Skid Steer Digest"

"Waffles I Have Known Quarterly"

"Wood Boring Insects of Labrador"
"Latin Algorhythmic Toning"

They must be out of those titles at Mac's... I've got the munchies something terrible today.... not sure what that's about. I think this is the dementia of PMS...

Buddhism

We watched a most moving documentary on Buddhism, shot in 2006, and sponsored by National Geographic. It was an interesting adjunct for the studying I've done (which is not vast) on the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I was asked on a few memorable occasions to recite from the Book of the Dead for a couple of our AIDS patients in Guelph, who were near their transition. As an interfaith aboriginal minister, I have tried to broaden my understanding of world religions to be able to serve those I am responsible to, and for...

This documentary was not about death directly, but I observed the concepts in practice of meditation, and understanding the "science of the mind" as it relates to life journey. In the west we run around and live frantically, doing anything we can to cheat death - we fear death. Yet, Buddhists spend their whole lives preparing for death - the principle issue is transcendence of the suffering of daily life through their spiritual practices, and obtainable enlightenment. This enlightenment is available to everyone through simple means.

Brian was part of the Transcendental Meditation group (TM) for something like 15 years... he was a diligent practitioner of meditation, even moving his family to live in a TM co-op near Ottawa for awhile. When we met, he had not been actively practicing his meditation or yoga for quite some time, and has always spoken of a desire to do it again... He remarked last night that he and his ex spent an hour meditating in the morning, and an hour in the evening on top of working full time - this was a long-term lifestyle for them. They "found" the time that he can't "find" now... Finding is passive - "making" time is active and assertive... I asked him if the evolution toward the native way of thinking had quashed his meditation. He is processing that thought, but doubts that's a part of what stops him now... 2500 years of Buddhism, and 400,000,000+/- practitioners world-wide must be doing something right.

So I am pondering what similarities there are between native thinking and Buddhism... certainly modern First Nations peoples are still reflecting the hurts and disenfranchisement of contact - if I am to compare these two philosophies, I think I have to do that from a pre-contact perspective. The Buddha created 84,000 tenets of Buddhism - I know I won't find that kind of comparable formality within my own spirit walk - this should be an interesting exercise.

I'll keep you posted on what I figure are the main similarities and differences between the two perspectives... I welcome emails with your thoughts...