The things we do for love...

My apologies to Sir Paul McCartney... We've continued to nurse Pooky, and got Angeni through a cold that didn't turn into pneumonia, planted more garden stuff and rearranged same, had clients out the yin yang, and generally coped with our shamanic gathering at the end of May... I really find that busy is good, but too busy makes Kathryn a cranky old bag - especially when I miscarry a pregnancy all within this busy time. It makes for a nauseating ride on the roller coaster of hormones.

The temperature reached 35° C at different times today - a humid extravaganza for May. The mosquitoes are really bad this spring - larger numbers than we've seen for years. The equines spend a lot of their day in the barn, fending off the flying vampires. I commiserate, since I'm housebound with the kamikaze biters.

I've had a run on sacred healing jewellery requests... this has come out of the blue, frankly. I used to make a lot of healing jewellery, especially necklaces, but after Angeni was born we just didn't get back into it at all. Suddenly, 8 requests in 2 weeks - this has meant scrambling for raw gem stock, and I thank Robert for searching out semi- and precious stones to fill in my inventory gaps. We channel what will work the best for a person's issues, be they physical, emotional, intellectual or spiritual, then stone-by-stone, lay out the beads. I'm working with materials like "tiger tail" which I love - this wasn't available when I first did jewelery. Tiger tail is wire coated with nylon and is much stronger for the weightier crystals. It is flexible and makes for a neater finish. This is satisfying artistry, and I love the finished products - every necklace is so unique. Eventually I'll get back into creating the bracelets and earrings... Brian is posting pictures on the website www.moonstarlodge.com if you want to see my babies!

Angeni never ceases to amaze me... Lately she's been talking about/questioning the function of a dreamwalker in altered states of reality and parallel universes. She has attempted journeys to get her own soul fragments back - that she understands (even though in a limited way) the nature of these alternative realities is quite mind-boggling to me. Her questions necessitate I review and fine-tune my awareness of these concepts - I'm going to be forced to be on top of my metaphysical game as the years go by... perhaps this will keep me from becoming complacent. If nothing else our children keep us young at heart...

I feel the tug to go away by myself for just a few days... I need to rejuvenate my soul at the shaman's place - where earth and sky meet rock and water. The thought of leaving Pook at this tenuous time in her decline gives me great guilt - I would hate for her to pass when I am away. At the same time, she has loss of bladder function and keeps us up half the night, which is what I need a break from... I couldn't let her pee on the floor at someone else's place. What if she died at the cottage? Also, we have air conditioning here, and not by the water - a lot of variables, and more not mentioned. It's a tough call, to be sure.

The mother and father bird, practicing tough love, force the babies from the nest when it's time to fledge - there are elements of this with people and situations in my life at so many different levels... The things we do for love indeed!!

Laundry & Mosquitoes

We're fairly sure now that with whatever happened last week, we'll not be laundering diapers anytime soon (until Angeni gets married and has kids), but I do have to go through another test in a few weeks... for several days the Impregnator went about the house looking rather pale and zombie-like, at the very thought of more little feet tramping about the house....

I did laundry very early this morning and it should have been out on the line by now. I'm stalling, nay, procrastinating actively to avoid the sting of mosquitoes. It is supposed to be the warmest day of the season (so far), and the little blighters fry in the direct sun, so I've thought of waiting until closer to noon so I'm standing in direct sunlight. I got bit last night, and within about 4 minutes the swelling was the size of a saucer - Brian was astounded at the mess of my legs. Already I've had several indoor kamikaze attacks and am using up the "After Bite" solution. Brian is out in the bush wiring fences for a neighbour, and I don't know how he stands it, as he has no shelter from bugs while in the fields. We're using a natural-style repellent, so as not to be exposed to DEET, but it is a losing battle. We've tried it all - Avon Skin-So-Soft, tea tree oil, mixed oil repellents and more - short of bear fat, which a healer friend Eugene uses. With my luck, I'd attract a big old bear looking for love in all the wrong places... with every summer season the Gulf Islands look more and more appealing...

I have so many other things to do, but alas, I feel guilty about the laundry and don't want it to moulder... perhaps putting on my jacket and a mosquito net over my face will do... and that minty green stuff making me smell of... hmmm.... whatever.

Long weekends in Varney

It was an absolutely gorgeous day yesterday (Saturday) of this Victoria Day long weekend... I was thrilled to see how much gardening Brian managed. He is in the throes of transferring the remaining plants from the medicine wheel into the raised bed, and planting some calendula. I am glad we can save our two historical roses (a rosa ragosa and Carolina wild rose) as the rose hips make fabulous medicines... The giant garlics are happier being thinned and separated. Today, the sun stayed away, and the high reached only about 9 degrees - this felt like winter compared to yesterday. It kept the bugs down, and Brian felt more comfortable working outside. For me, I've had to put the furnace back on for the evening... He is so handy, managing to fix tires on the lawn mower, doing the engine rebuilds, and replacing broken parts. I admire his litany of practical skills.

I got back into jewelery making this weekend, having received 3 custom order requests all at once. It was quite a shift for me, as I had a lot of sorting of supplies before I could actually do the necklaces, but I managed the custom orders, and did up a couple for sale here at the lodge. It is interesting that I do my artwork in fits and starts - sometimes I'll go on a quilting jag, sometimes knitting, and other times nothing at all - it's been nothing for awhile. However, this has inspired me, and I'm right into fixing a few broken necklaces of my own and feeling like I'm accomplishing "artfully" again. Channeling what goes into the necklaces to benefit the purchaser is an interesting sidebar - sometimes the guides and teachers get very specific about exact stones, and other times it is up to my aesthetic. Interesting collective process... Tomorrow I have some mending to do, and will proceed with hemming some pants for Angeni and myself. Not as creative a process, but I do have to be in the mood to do that kind of sewing.

Pooky hangs in here... since April 5th when the vet wanted to euthanize her, she has gotten desperately sick 3 more times, and each time has rallied herself out of it... I was sure that on Friday we'd lost her. I called Brian home from work to help me deal with her... he even built a coffin. She was collapsing and non-responsive at times, yet after sleeping a bit, and being given some IV fluid, she is profoundly better - eating, drinking, urinating, and all the things I know she needs to do to stay alive. This rhinoceros spirit she possesses will not let her falter. Clearly, as she nears 15, she isn't going to have some miraculous rebirthing, but I'm trying to keep her passage as natural as possible, without using the vet's death drugs. I think the Friday problem was an intolerance to her diethylstilbestrol, so we're stopping that from now on...

Angeni has the spring cold I had a couple weeks back. It seems to be staying as a cold, and not going into her lungs. We're glad of this, and pleased her immune system seems improved.

I hope you're all enjoying this first long weekend of summer (unofficially).

Spring Haiku

Dandelions glow.
Deer flies Black flies Mosquitoes,
Smack them off me please.

Laundry smells warm breeze,
Barbecue glints ready rust,
Fanning fires water.

Rancid dog breath goo,
Swamp-wet gleefully stinky,
Dog paws sewage dreams.

Alright, I won't quit my day job. We've had a pregnancy scare and that makes me loopy. One can't drink one's way through a pregnancy (not that I would), but the initial horror of that wee surgical snip slip has my head reeling and my heart pounding. I never thought at 50 years old I'd be buying a pregnancy test kit. Angeni has been asking for a brother or sister - and we've given away almost all her baby things. Oh dear... Pass the smelling salts...

Mother's day has suddenly taken on a very different meaning this weekend!

The Rites of Spring

Most years a bit of rain and thunder are welcome in the spring, especially when we've had no precipitation for over a week - the grass greens up, the flowers rejoice, and the bugs stay away from the equines. Something about last night's storm must have bothered our horses because this morning the temporary fence was broken down (and through). When seeing this, Brian high-tailed it to the barn, to see if the horses were there - indeed, all heads are accounted for, mercifully. With Mabel being blind, a nighttime romp through an electrified fence could have spelled disaster!

Pooky still remains with us, although her transition seems to be nearing. She is comfortable, eating and drinking, and still asking to go with us in the car. She's pretty much nailed to my hip, and doesn't want to settle upstairs at night... hence I am still sleeping on the couch with her. Unfortunately her bladder control isn't what it used to be, so I do an awful lot of laundry. Like the old ones, she naps most of the day, so she's ready to perk up at bedtime. I could use a nap right now, and may join her...

As spiritual beings, temporarily inhabiting human bodies, I'm amazed regularly at how little some people understand about soul and spiritual progress. It seems to be that any talk of spirit hints at death, and we are so death-phobic in the West that heads go in the sand, like quaking ostriches, at the mere subject. It's unfortunate. I run into some interesting cases of hauntings where people in their spirit bodies are still afraid to move on... and they terrify humans in the process. We just aren't meant to share space with those who won't go on into the light.

Looking forward to clearing skies and a beautiful weekend. Peace.

Bounteous Beauty

The forecasts of 13 degrees each for Saturday and Sunday were far surpassed - both days it hit 19 degrees. We've struggled to catch up with farm/property chores with Brian working out at another farm for the past couple of weeks... This weekend, despite the early dates, I wanted to finish the flower planting while we are in 3rd quarter of this moon cycle... in Native tradition we never plant in 4th quarter, just weed, prune, prepare beds and such... Brian is away again next week working off-site, so I needed his help. Next weekend we are in the middle of 4th quarter so no planting next weekend...

We rooted through the greenhouse for pots and salvaged 3 larger clay jobs which are all now full... It took an additional mid-afternoon trip into Hanover to purchase additional violas and pansies, but we managed to get the exact right amount. A friend gave me some ornamental pansies in a hanger, and we needed a second hanger, so we picked one up... The porch entry area is now beautifully adorned with lots of colour... even Angeni planted a clay urn this year... I'd like to instill my green thumb on her...

The downside to early warm weather is BLACKFLIES. Geez, the fargin' bastards swarmed me this afternoon and evening. I begged off bringing in the laundry... my testosterone-filled husband isn't as delicious as his premenstrual, A- blood type wife, so he has taken pity. I bailed on him when the last planter was done, leaving him to the laundry and watering-in our flowers. It is the bug season, if somewhat early. The equines are suffering with biting flies as well, poor things. Brian did some temporary fencing today which allows them grazing space on the lawn. They love this grass. It means my dear little donkey is just a few feet away for neck scratches and donkey kisses. When he puckers up there is no internal visual of Brad Pitt or Eobbie Robertson, but that's a cute ass.

Had she lived my mother would have been 86 today. She was really present at the anniversary of her passing on March 24th - setting off alarms and generally spooking the dogs. I send her love and light... As the years go by the hurtful memories ease, and time heals those old wounds.

I plan to enjoy this wonderful week of sunlight that's forecast!!

Full Moons and Mischief Makers

I'm awake at one ungodly hour, having started to bed some 3 hours ago, thanks primarily to my dog Starr and his need to co-ordinate the social happenings of the neighbourhood, in his managerial best style... I'm not impressed. He nearly knocked me down the back stairs to get at some invisible thing outside, and I've waited all this time to get him in... I had resolved to teach him a lesson and leave him out all night, but the other issue I have pertains to my cold/sinuses, and they're keeping me upright. Sooo, he's in (sleeping) and I'm up - what's wrong with this picture?

I might as well have gone out and danced naked around the May pole, as that would have made this month a tad more fun... I developed a cold on May Day, and it is in full bloom right now. Mercifully the sun has shone these past two or three days and this trend will continue well into next week - I look forward to this fine spring weather. It's allowed Brian to do some outdoor work for the neighbour, and I've worked at home... the perennials are blooming. I'll plant the calendula this weekend.

I ordered some walking poles from a store in Walkerton, and got them today. I read about these special poles as a thing to use for weight loss and daily power walking - they take some of the stress off feet/knees/hips to allow one to walk for a longer time. This particular pair has spring-loaded tips to help with the recoil and this apparently amplifies the momentum. It features 3 sets of tips - basket tips for snow shoeing, some for mixed terrain hiking, and a narrow set which I'll be usually for the most part. My reason for using these is to see if I can ease the pain from plantar fasciitis when I walk - right now this is a serious problem.

On a different note, we have a friend... I'll use an alphabet letter for her name... Hmmm... How about "D"? Sounds good... Well, D has been travelling of late... not my best communicator, unless you include passing internet jokes via email. She is indeed a mischief maker, like Starr. Past 70, with fairly serious health issues, D reminds me of the teenager who has that sense of infallibility who says "Nothing can happen to me - I'm above danger." While life is short and I applaud her tenacity at going for what she wants and living life to the fullest, I'm also concerned that her fearlessness is going to get the better of her this trip, and that she's already in over her head. She has a hard time hearing this, and may dismiss my concerns as anxiety - she's not a child. Still, I am hoping if the situation gets uncomfortable, she'll march on back to Durham... Homeland Security may be happier for that decision... D'mischief maker...

Angeni wants to do something fun this weekend, as a family. I'm not sure what that will include, although I appreciate her lament that we're "always working". She's right. And we're older, without much money, nor the energy and stamina to do things like Canada's Wonderland or similar. There aren't a lot of children's activities in this neck of the woods, so we'll have to be inventive, I guess. I would like to plant the rest of my violas, and Brian will get out two clay planters for the porch for me to fill with flowers. He needs to rake out the old calendula bed, and replant it. I look forward to a good crop of calendula this year. I need to make a new batch this weekend, perhaps, and I bought cilantro to add to some hummus. Calendula doesn't require vacuum sealing in a canning kettle, but the hummus does. These are relaxing activities for me, but won't be considered "fun" by Angeni, so we'll have to see what we can do for, and with, her...

I got some of those charm dangles young females are adorning their purses with, and they look quite chic, if I do say so myself. This bit of faux bling bling seems to impress Angeni - I'm not a clothes horse, girly-girl type, but I do like my purses. The charms are a nod to her generation, and I expect she'll ask for some as well... she owns purses she doesn't really use much, but this may push her to carry one now. This is the closest I've come to mischief this month.

Pooky is still with us, and holding her own. She sleeps a lot, though, but at least she's eating.

I need to shut this down for the night...

May Day

I'm glad tax time is more or less over - taxes were sent last week but I'm still needing to post the receipts to envelopes and put them away in an archive box... I am planning to make amendments to my spread sheet for 2007 and re-categorize for the ledger statements reflecting the changes in the tax form from this year... Not a big deal, but at the same time I've sorted the receipts and such for the first 4 months of 2007, allowing me to get a third of 2007 done... I hope there isn't too much of a change in the tax form if the government changes this year. And I hope the government does change this year...

Yesterday was not the day to do any of this tax/accounting stuff because it was a PA day... Including today, there are 41 school days for Angeni until the 27th of June... Yesterday reminded me of how I should not handle summer vacation... After 3 days at home, she was bored and testy by dinner time... I spent time with her doing a new chapter of a story we write together, but after an hour she tired of that, and went off on tangents...

A few days ago I invested in some violas to put in my cauldron, and I managed to save a few from last year in the house... About half the plants in the old iron kettle survived the winter and have begun blooming. Daffs are out, and a couple of tulips. I love daffodils but I don't like tulips - never did. Not much gardening happening here yet this year. Brian filled in the area under the porch windows with grass seed, and leveling stones, so all the shrubbery and flower barrels are gone... I find the entrance blah looking, but we'll dress up the porch with some baskets. I managed to salvage 2 baskets of geraniums to plant myself, and have for the porch - if they don't look right, I'll get something else.

Since early April I've started having a bit of yoghurt in the evening to help me avoid munchie attacks for carbs. So far that's working. I want to try and get some weight off, and I've ordered some special walking poles that take the pressure off joints. They're very popular in Europe and not so much here, but they're catching on... I'm not as physically active as I should be with the plantar fasciitis.

I've started sleeping downstairs with Pooky and finally I got some sleep the last 2 nights... These 2-hour nights for weeks on end were turning me into an angry, frustrated being. I am tired today, even after a fairly good sleep, but this isn't compensating for all the lost sleep... Pooky still hangs on, and seems happier that I'm downstairs... I'm not happier downstairs, away from Brian and the comfort of my bed, but I feel it's what I have to do right now... we both don't need to deal with Pook at night.

It's a dreary May 1st... the sunrise was breathtaking, given there was a clear sky at that point. Not now... I won't be dancing ribbons around a may pole or any such drama today as it's about to rain... That means Brian has a short work day, which will be nice for us to have a couple quiet hours together before the school bus arrives... I hope this cold month isn't a portent of things to come for summer weather...

Brian is off working this week, so with Angeni back in school for these 4 days, I'm home alone, working away on whatever. I'd like to hire someone to help with spring cleaning, but I don't have the funds... Varney dreaming....

Back to work... have a wonderful month!